Kobe Bryant is getting a book

by The Cavalier on June 16, 2007 · 8 comments

fullj.getty-99999999ah002spur_sa_arriva_6_06_50_pm(What you see to your left is what happens when left only with iPhoto with which to attempt to create genius. It does not work. For that, we are ashamed.)

Bill Simmons has shouted to the masses that the NBA offseason has officially become more exciting than the season itself, and we have to agree, at least at this point in time.

(This has always been the case to some extent, however. NBA trades/drafts are the most potentially impactful in all of sports.)

Luckily for the blogosphere, the player movement isn’t the only thing on tap for this summer. Not only has Kobe Bryant re-iterated (in Spain, no less) his desire to be traded directly to owner Jerry Buss, but according to Larry Brown Sports, Kobe’s ex-bodyguard is writing a book about the whole rape deal that went down back in 2004.

Here is the official site, where one can sign up to read it all online, or through the magic of technology, order a paperback version. Here’s what you’ll learn!

Dead Women Tell no Tales is not only an eye-opening account for readers familiar with the two high-profile cases or its characters but for anybody looking for a serious page-turner. The total exposure of one of the most famous athletes on the planet is one thing, another is the professional career of his bodyguard – a black world that is known to most of us only from the movies.

Well, that’s very true – we’ve seen Friday and Next Friday and the Shaft remake, and other than Boomerang back in the early 90s, that’s pretty much the only exposure to this “black world” he speaks of that we’ve had.

We remember this guy, though. He’s the one who claimed he was hired to kill a witness in the case or something, and then was totally disregarded as bogus because he was an Irish terrorist or was crazy or at the very least “liar-ish”.

The only conclusion we can draw is that if you’re writing this thing 3 years after the fact, and it’s only available through a website called “”, your book probably isn’t that credible. Based on the description, it sounds like one of those things where there are two sentences about Kobe and 14 chapters about your life as a security guard at U-Stor-It.

THAT SAID, if those two sentences contain any half-way viable Kobe trade rumors, we’re all over this thing.

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Sports news and rumors » Blog Archive » Kobe Bryant is getting a book
June 19, 2007 at 5:39 am
April 2, 2008 at 12:16 pm


1 TVBrain June 16, 2007 at 11:02 am

This is what I get for letting my license for the URL lapse?

2 Steve is god June 16, 2007 at 11:36 am

Careful, Roundie quisling, careful…

3 Detroit Chris M June 16, 2007 at 1:23 pm

Pistons got rid of Carlos Delfino. Which of course means they’re after Kobe or Pierce.

4 Boney June 16, 2007 at 2:15 pm

if Detroit gets Pierce I may have to begin talking about boycotting them until Pierce is no longer on the team.

Now, if they got Kobe, I might be ok with it as long as Richard Hamilton is gone.

5 dave June 16, 2007 at 7:28 pm

yea god forbid they get someone who can actually put the ball in the basket on a consistent basis.

6 Boney June 16, 2007 at 7:30 pm

I encourage everyone to take 10-15 minutes out of their lives and go and listen to the new Wizznutzz production “Shitsy Spitsy”.

It is sure to be added to Oprah’s audio book list any day now!

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