YAYsports! NBA

If you’re not too busy poring over coverage of Lindsay Lohan’s latest arrest and the ongoing developments in NBA ref Tim Doogiedoogie’s impending arrest, you may want to take a look at the details for the newest chapters of Trapped in the Closet, due for release August 21st. (A week before El Birthday du Cavalier. HINT.)

The new round of “Trapped” videos finds Kelly portraying an old man named Randolph, complete with a pot belly and a fake white beard that nearly falls off mid-scene, as well as a preacher in a gray Jheri-curl wig and garish orange suit. In one of the final chapters, Kelly’s Sylvester character talks business with a “Sopranos”-esque mobster who is eating a giant plate of spaghetti.

We’re sold, because you can almost tell those elements were the essential spine of the story. “We need someone eating a giant plate of spaghetti, and there’s gotta be a garish orange suit and a fake beard.”

Wait…this is starting to sound an awful lot like WSM?, actually. If it is, we may have to start from scratch. Damn. (Also, the DVD of the first 12 Chapters arrived, with the full commentary, which is where the gold lies. We’ll be popping it in soon and giving a full report.)

Back to Lohan - we love how her lawyers and parents are saying Lindsay Lohan is like a victim of her horrible addiction, poor Lindsay, etc. She not an addict - she’s an abuser. Big difference. She’s also a stupid kid that everything happened too fast for. (What’s she had - two hit movies? Freaky Friday and Mean Girls - right? Nothing else did major dollars.)

Either way, she’s not a victim - those dudes whose car she jacked are - this rundown of the events is awesome, capped by our favorite quote, from the guys whose foot she ran over:

“It was pretty much the worst night of my whole summer.”

He either has the gift of understatement, or has had a horrifically wild summer so far. These guys are likely to sue, and we don’t think it’s a money-grab. If some coked up girl carjacked us, took us on a high-speed chase, and ran over our foot, we’d probably sue, also.

Oh, and Smush Parker signed with Miami. Um…nice move.