As we wrote about lasterday (Yes, this would be posts two days in a row!), Greg Oden has been struggling in summer league.
If you’re a Blazer fan who’s inexplicably looking too much into that and causing yourself a panic attack or two, your days of humbling fears are over.
Greg is getting his tonsils taken out, and won’t be participating in any more of these things. His tonsils are massive, which considering he’s a massive 7-feet tall, means they’re about eight inches in diameter. Each.
“Right now, it’s more of a thing that they are so big, that when I’m running up and down the court, it’s hard for me to breathe,” Oden said Monday. “I can’t get any air in there.”
“There’s no excuses, because I was out there playing. And if I’m playing, I’m playing, so if I have a bad game, it’s not on my tonsils, it’s on me.”
You can read into this whatever you desire, but for us, this implies one thing: Greg Oden’s tonsils are sentient.
Not only that, but Greg is covering for them. This is exactly like when you like steal something when you’re a kid, and your mom is like, “So, what did you do today?” and then you’re like, “I didn’t steal any bubble gum at the store.”
Or if you’re like us, it was pronounced “buggle gum,” and not only did you steal it, but you also created an intricate series of distractions throughout the shopping plaza, allowing you and your friends to lift over $86 worth of candy and comic books.
These events are spoken of in hushed tones throughout your hometown to this day, and your legend grows and grows with each successive generation.
In conclusion, Ron Artest is pretending he wants to retire as a King. How pretty.
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the bubble quote should say: “CAKE!”
Unlimited ice cream for Mr. Oden!
did the massive, sentient tonsils rob antoine walker at gunpoint???
seems like something they would do.
That’s on the tonsils, not on Greg Oden. I just hope they kill the things after they take them out – left to roam free, who knows what kind of havoc they could unleash on the world?
So The Cav was like that Billy kid in Family Circus with the mindless maze of wondering just to get a piece of gum?
Or if you’re like us… not only did you steal it, but you also created an intricate series of distractions throughout the shopping plaza, allowing you and your friends to lift over $86 worth of candy and comic books.
Holy sh*t. I am like you. We do have something in common. Wow. Did you also steal valuable comic books so you could sell them to the stores to get enough money to buy a whole bunch of new comic books?
I hope Boobie is in WSM?. Not necessarily meaning Daniel Gibson, but Boobies of some sort or another.
But how big are the Madison Square Garden’s tonsils?
I may have commented on here last summer about what (Shannon) Brown could do for you…I totally meant this year.
Chris thanks for remembering the other sentient being from the site – I almost went back and linked that post when I was writing this…
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