Yi Jianlian is not in Milwaukee

While top pick Greg Oden genuinely seems happy and humbled (through the use of non-capitalization, no less) to be a member of the Portland Trailblazers, #6 pick Yi Jianlian is about 179 degrees the other direction when it comes to being a Milwaukee Buck.

This was all somewhat expected, and now it’s official – Yi’s reps are exploring trade options for the young man, as they don’t feel Wisconsin is the right place for a future global icon.

(Not to get too far off track, and maybe we’re just tired, but we had to think for about 10 seconds about whether Wisconsin was even a state. It started when we kept trying to spell it “Winsconsin” and ended when we had to Google it. For a moment we felt like we’d never heard of this place before.)

Anyway, Yi’s people had the following to say.

“Our agent team had meetings to study this case immediately after the draft,” said Yi’s Chinese agent Zhao Gang. “Yi’s selection at six has proved his capabilities and value.

“However, we feel that the Bucks are not the best fit for Yi Jianlian. Our team will make contact with other teams who have watched Yi’s training and games to see if there is any possibility of a trade.”

Now, with free agency starting today, the Bucks have all kinds of things to deal with other than this Chinese kid.

Their starting PG, Mo Williams, is a free agent, as is SF Ruben Patterson, who’s a registered sex offender.

On top of that, their uniforms are still the color of Christmas, and shooting guard Michael Redd’s last name is one of those colors. You may not think that’s a huge problem, but then again, it’s not, so there you go.

As for Yi, we expect lots of interesting interestingness to come out of this whole situation starting Friday, as apparently China is playing in one of the NBA summer leagues. Like, the country. We’re not sure how that happened, but we’re pretty sure it has something to do with…something.

There’s gold at the end of that sentence somewhere, but we simply can’t find it today. Apologies. To Wisconsin, also. We just looked it up again, and you are indeed a state.

(One other thing – nobody actually knows if Yi is even any good or not. Just saying.)

UPDATE: Just to clarify, we didn’t mean that as an insult to Wisconsin – we were just having a moment which could’ve occurred with Texas or North Carolina or any other state. We literally couldn’t process whether it was a state or not. Like do you ever suddenly look around your house, yet not recognize where you are in any way for a few minutes? It was like that. (Is this something that only happens to us?)