Team USA is barrelling through anyone and everyone that gets in their path in this Tourney of the Americas thing, and while we haven’t watched any of the games, we talked on the phone to someone who watched part of one.
When you add in the skimming of this article, we’re left in the perfect position to declare ourself an expert on all of this.
Case in point – Kobe Bryant is like the leader of the team, and like he dribbles good, and like also makes baskets good, and like plays good defense, and like makes everyone else be like, “Hey! Basketball!”
“Kobe has been a pacesetter for sure,” Team USA director Jerry Colangelo said. “Defensively, he’s just locking people down. He’s so strong and so focused, you just can’t say enough about his work ethic and how he has led. He’s done a great job.”
Now, our sole question, and it’s one we could easily get an answer for ourself, is as follows – where can we watch these games?
We thought we saw one on ESPN Classic, but determined that was too weird and strange. It was disregarded, and a viewing of “300″ was substituted. This was sometime this weekend, a little bit after we finished lifting weights in the desert.
If you’ve never done such a thing, we highly recommend it. It’s pretty much the most masculine thing you can do, and when you finish, you’ll look in the mirror and finally declare yourself a man.
Moving forward – we’re going to post every day this week except for Wednesday, which is fully booked up with other activities. This is a promise to you, and one we shall keep. Of course, Jack Cobra comes in Friday, so we won’t post then – we’re not stepping on the toes of a man named after a snake.
We may also not be here Tuesday or Thursday, since we haven’t kept a promise since early 2006. Please commence your bashing of us, after which we shall sit back on our throne and declare from on high that we fear not your leavings and abandonings, for you shall all return when the time is nigh.
NOTE: This “Kobe is 20 lbs lighter” thing makes no sense – he looks the same. End of story.
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That explains everything. I can see the Cav wondering the desert like Jim Morrison or Jesus. Which means of course, in 40 days, or 40 years, we may see this thing he calls WSM? which I will now call Mamba: Hands of Fate 2.
For those who aren’t down with their MST3K, this from imbd.com: “This movie should serve as warning to anyone who tries to make up a movie as you go along. An overused concept (family gets lost) meets a cliche (wierd guy who talks of a master)and then degrades into one big mess. The couple’s little girl vanishes during filming or seems to be and a wierdo shows off his girl collection; they may or not be vampires or zombies, you never know. The story is missing, the flow is ambigous and it moves like words in an alphabet soup. Nonsense and confusion are the result.”
Hmmm…
I have accepted the fact that I will never watch WSM? whether it’s released or not… it’s lost it’s zeal.
How will I go on?!
Leandro Barbosa is from brasil they speak portugues there and don’t use el for the. I know that is ticky tacky but I love the country. Also something you missed is that Leandro is number 10 both in phoenix and for team brazil, yet Kobe Bryant is number 10 for the olympics?… now who is copying who?
What games do you play when only 5 people show up for pick up basketball? find out at http://www.pickupbasketball.net
I’d like to debut the “Cavalier Column Generator” at this point, because I’m definitely noticing a pattern. Patent pending; although I should just license this to the Cavalier to have him post more often, heh.
“Slightly NBA-related piece of news. Cavalier expression of formal disinterest, followed by sudden interest in the topic, followed by mildly funny statement capped with exclamation point. Insert quote/random link afterward.
Short middle paragraphs that wander back and forth, because the Cavalier is still too busy pinching himself at how much better the women are in CA then they were in his cold Midwestern birth place and uttering words of thanksgiving to Darwin (the Cav doesn’t roll with JC or Allah to my knowledge) that natural selection has led to such fine women in his generation. That, or the Cavalier is distracted with his top-secret entertainment industry job, which is personal trainer to Ryan Secrest (shh, don’t tell anyone.) But hey, spotting a 10-lb weight only requires one hand, so the Cavalier types with the other.
Slightly apologetic comment related to WSM, followed by the Cavalier’s ego roaring back and reminding us that we’ll always want some Mamba from the Cavalier .(Seriously, sometimes I think Paul Shirley’s writing this blog with the random I’m a loser/I’m awesome nature of the text. I’m getting emotional whiplash here.) Follow by some sort of recommendation to convert all our friends to the Mamba faith before the first coming. Shrugging off of skeptics.
Verbiage that sounds like the Cavalier will be posting daily and really does care about us, only when you sit down and read the text you understand it’s “Three times this week, tops, and probably only one.” Sudden return to the NBA news at the beginning we had all forgotten about. Weird reference to events we don’t understand, but that reminds us that the Cavalier has gotten a dap from Paula Abdul on the AI set, and we didn’t.” The End.
McBias, you’re going all FreeDarko on us here. Your post was ridiculously long, ridiculously painful to sit through yet filled with subtle truths that made it all worthwhile. BTW did you hear that LeTeamAmericaPointForwardDoesn’tFeelLikeScoring said that it was good that the east “finally got some pros” in it after the BOS trade? Cavalier, I think that your often sunglassed hero may fall… and soon… like down the karma stairs… which rhymes with dresser.
Kobe looks fat
yahtzee in all honesty I think a big part of what mcbias has analyzed (and it is very true, yes) is that my sunglassed hero’s disinterest and lack of effort this past season has had a (as of now) permanent affect on my love/passion/interest for the NBA. If you recall, I noted this might happen mid-season when he started reminding me of Vince Carter – I said then he may never get me back!
i don’t think 20 lbs makes that much of a visual difference with someone of kobe’s size. i recently had knee surgery and gained about 20 lbs since i couldn’t work out and i still look about the same.
at least while i’m dressed.
I’m so confused right now. Someone needs to start yaymetacommentsexplained.com.
MCBias is right… the contents of Cav’s “posts” may be different, but the format is always the same.
it’s dissappointing in a way… in others, we’ve come to expect less than stellar effort lately…
I, for one, am upset by the recent actions of one The Cavalier.
I’m doing the right things with my time.
Here, here, I concur.
Hence me and Boney will be taking over the site until further notice. We will allow the Cav to return when and only when WSM is an actual thing available for public consumption. All posts by the Cav until this time will be boycotted and ignored and all discussions will be posted after and only after the musings of one Jack Cobra.
All those in favor, say aye.
Bah, Boney, I’m not disappointed or upset. It’s the offseason, remember, and I’m sure the Cavalier is indeed doing very useful things that keep him busy. But he’s fallen into such a pattern the last few months that I had to have a little fun with him. Try to reserve judgment on the Cavalier until the cinematic masterpiece that is Who Shot Mamba? appears.
Jordi, I can’t say I won’t read Cav’s posts… but I can say that I will read them without taking ritalin, which will lead me to clicking all the links on the page before I finish reading the headline…
I will, however, join in on reading Jack Cobra’s posts because they are insightful and witty…. and also because he deserves the support after losing to Paul Shirley in the hot blogger contest.
after losing to Paul Shirley in the hot blogger contest.
My Aunt died that weekend so I couldn’t rig the voting….
Ok ok I take back the monotonous comment from yesterpost (kinda like lasterday). Cobra is alright by me. I shall read an enjoy his literary contributions. The Cav, on the other hand, and his mad-lib approach to posts, receives my scorn.
MCBias, perhaps you still believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy as well. There is no WSM?. It does not exist. Look on wikipedia: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Search?search=who+shot+mamba&go=Go . See? Nothing. And everything that exists is on Wikipedia. WSM? is like Keyser Soze, a legend, a myth.
You know what I think? I think the Cav is using us. Using us for his own diabolical scheme.
Holy wow! I stand corrected! Big announcement: with a little Google-Fu, you too can connect the Cav to Kevin Bacon in 6 easy steps. (Yes, it’s possible.)
It’s acceptable to suck if your blog is strictly about the NBA during the off season. What they hell are you going to write about? Unless Stephen Jackson pulls a Mike Vick the only thing to talk about are 4th tier free agents signing with 2nd rate teams trying to fill their roster?
Rafer Alston being arrested was too predictable, he was on the And1 squad for Christ sakes, what did you expect? And who gives a rat’s ass that Kevin Martin re upped with the kings, James Posey signed with the Celtics or who PJ Brown will drift off into obscurity with?
I don’t.
Go on with your bad self Cav, even if you’re at home backing up all your porn onto a new hard drive and yanking our chain about a possibly fake/real movie, it’s all the same to me until the season starts.
Until then we’ll just talk about bullshit and whether or not Rondo will be a first or second ballot HOF…
Blog suicide represent.
Wait a damn minute. So it is not ok for Boney to associate Jewish people with banking and law and other administrative, high profile professions but Jeremiah can link Rafer Alston’s arrest to the fact that he was on an And1 street ball team?
hyp·o·crite [hip-uh-krit] –noun
1. a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.
2. a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, esp. one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.
and we know that I was just kidding… the jews have been meaning to get back at people ever since WWII, so you know he’s serious in what he says!
bigot, bigot, bigot
Actually Jordi you just exposed your self as the bigot. And1 is NOT a race, it’s an organization. So are you saying that And1 is a race or a possible an ethnicity? Because I’m pretty sure it’s not. I don’t think linking And1 to crime, like I would link the Crips or Bloods to crime is bigoted at all. So what’s your angle? Are you saying that everyone in And1 is black and there for a race? Everyone in And1 isn’t black (see The Professor), arguably the most famous next to Hot Sauce on the And1 squad.
So your argument is bunk. Come up with something better next time.
P.S. We don’t hate Boney, he’s the most entertaining person on this website (next to Cav), we just like talking smack with him.
Some one broke into my car last night and I told the Police I’m pretty sure it was someone from the Bengals. The cop said I had a 50/50 chance of being correct. (Do you see how an organization can be connected with crime with out being a race issue?)
How are you connecting an organization to race Jordi? Dude you suck at running your mouth, just leave it to Boney to smack us little boy, you are a light weight. I know you’re just looking for that chance to get into this trash talk war but if you don’t bring the noise or make any sense then I don’t care how often you post fan boy, your game is weak.
Funny thing is Cav has run us before, he pretty much shoved his foot up our ass about 6 months ago when we attempted to contribute to the site. So he’s like the Kung Fu master right now laying back watching his students battle for the black belt.
Show em how it’s done Boney.
Yawn. Since I have nothing better to do than to run with your insinuations, here goes. Jeremiah, it was you who claimed Rafer Alston was expected to be in legal trouble because of his And1 affiliation. So I ask, what did you mean be that? That was an assumption you provided no facts for. I merely pointed out that your assigning of a characteristic to one based on affiliation is hypocritical, as would be Boney’s bigoted remarks about all Jews being rich, legally astute, etc., etc. Might want to take reading comprehension 101 on that one, fella.
And I am glad you informed me as the racial breakdown of the And1 team. They could have been lesbian eskimos for all I care. Not that I don’t watch, but such information was superfluous to your argument and hardly the sockdolager in which you claimed.
Stillajew, your local authorities are correct. It could have been a Bengal, or it might not have been. Since these are two choices, the outcome is indeed 50/50, or 50%. Amazing. However, it appears you too are quick to associate the legal background of an organization to a recent crime. This would be called “stereotyping”.
With all the hate emanating from ASU, no wonder Chuck D walked out on his concert back in the day. Y’all might not remember that, sorry.
By the way, bring back DeltaGirl or whatever her name was, she was much more of a challenge for my fatal verbal guillotine.
Jordi, before I forget… thanks for adding me as a friend on myspace! isn’t my cat cute?!?!?!
See? How many self-loathing douches invite people to be their myspace friends and have cute cats? Take it back, ASU clan, take it back.
Yo, I bet that cute ASU chick that commented about some Shakespeare nonsense is a real “looker”… as in… when I get my “girls of the Pac 10″ playboy out later tonight you better believe I’ll be quoting Shakespeare while I’m working my man
Ok, I stand corrected. Boney is a douche. But because I am trying desperately to have as many friends as Tila Tequila, Boney will remain on my myspace friends list.
Actually we didn’t call Boney a bigot based off of his comments on members of an affiliation. We called Boney a bigot based off his generalizations of an entire race of people. AND1 IS NOT A RACE OR ETHNICITY.
You are born Jewish, you are not born a Bengal, And1 member, Blood, Crip, Republican or Democrat but I can make generalizations based off of the group you choose to affiliate your self without bigotry involved.
Another thing you glossed over is why would a comment about And1 be hypocrytical based off of previous posts about Boney’s bigotry. So the ethnic break down does in fact play a part when you call me a hypocrit, you are saying that I am making a comment based off of race when I comment about And1 much like Boney did about Jews. So you are implying that all And1 members are of the same race, which they are not.
So I ask plainly, so as not to speak over your head, what racial or ethnic group were you talking about when you posted? Because I was talking about And1 the association, what were you referring to when you called me a bigot?
And talking smack is a part of basketball, which you would know if you actually played from time to time.
You know what. Never mind, don’t answer you win.
I was trying to keep the Smack Down Contest to the last thread and comment on basketball from now on. Cause I know I would not want to read this bickering crap between the four of us every day but you sucked me in by comparing Jews to And1. Which I would be pretty pissed if someone compared my religion (Christianity) to the Denver Nuggets, but what ever.
You win Jordi…Jewish people are just like And1…you win. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.
After 2 years of reading this site, I can come to one conclusion, about 5 fanboys run these threads and new posters better kiss your ass.
Holy crap kid, you are making my head hurt.
But ok, I’ll take this paragraph by paragraph:
1) Your comment about And1, “Rafer Alston being arrested was too predictable, he was on the And1 squad for Christ sakes, what did you expect?” – shows a bias against And1 members; that they as a group have a proclivity towards crime. This I compared to Boney’s claim that Jewish people as a group have a proclivity towards being bankers, lawyers, etc, etc. Nowhere does that comparison say And1 is a race, as nowhere does it say And1 is a religious affiliation.
2) Agreed. However generalizations are for the simple-minded. Mental shortcuts, i.e. stereotypes, lead to assumptions and mistakes. Like thinking all frat members at ASU are beer-drinking louts. You could have a sparkling 4.0 and be a pillar of society. By thinking you are a lout, I am just making an ass of myself.
3) Again, mental shortcuts. Boney made an assumption. You made an assumption. Boney could attempt to back his up, but we all know Boney would fail. However, if you could prove to me that being an And1 member = criminal affiliation, I would cede that you are correct. However, until such time you are making a blanket statement. The hypocracy has NOTHING to do with color or creed. It has to do with you and Boney’s proclivity to assume the actions of individuals belonging a GROUP, be it voluntary or involuntary – which actually only race and sex are involuntary, you can change your religion.
4) “what were you referring to when you called me a bigot” – Show me where I called you a bigot because I sure can’t find it.
Until you can show crime stats linking And1 membership to crime and where I called you a bigot, I am done argueing.
5) Oh yeah, “which you would know if you actually played from time to time.” – again sir, assumptions get you nowhere.
Peace out.
I lied, I have to respond, and I do take back one thing I wrote in the following:
Neither one of us is going to agree on this. Because I believed, that with out writing it, you thought I was making a comment on And1 being predominantly one race, inferring I was like Boney, a bigot. And I also believe with out writing it you were calling me a hypocrite by which saying “you are a bigot calling someone else a bigot”. So you could say I was just connecting the dots.
If I was wrong then I’m sorry but I still don’t agree that what I said is comparable to making a racist remark like Boney did against the Jews, it’s just not the same. You still have not convinced me.
5)You commented on a lot of Hate at ASU, well you don’t play ball then cause you would know smack is part of basketball and even Boney said it’s not mean, it’s just smack. We don’t hate Boney, there is no hate toward Boney. So yes, I will say that you must not play ball, or you’ve never played a pick up game at a decent park. Boney is from DC he must know what I’m talking about cause he runs it just as much as we do.
“at the height of their fame and glory they turned on one another, each struggling in vain for ultimate supremacy, in the passion and depth of their struggle, the very art that had raised them through such olympian heights was lost … their techniques vanished”
– GZA, Liquid Swords
CAN’T YOU SEE, YOU’RE TEARING US APART!
I just wish Cav would come back, and we could all live in Rondo/Boobie harmony together.
Or that WSM? would come out. That’d be good too.
“In darkest hour…at time of greatest unrest…when all was deemed lost…”
THE BLOG SUICIDE IS NOT COMPLETE YET. (Although the race war is really contributing. I know it’s everything I always dreamed the site could become.)
Seriously. Let’s talk politics!
how am I a douche Jordi? c’mon man, I thought we were friends???? I need a friend now that The Cavalier has added me to the “Crow Eating List” haha…
anywho…
For those that care, I was just kidding when I all those thing about Jews. My aunt is a jew, and even though her hair is falling out (without chemo I might add) and she is annoying, I still love her sorta. How could you not love an lady that your Uncle married who was once his teacher in high school? I don’t know about you, but there were mayyyyyyyyyyyyyyybe like 2 teachers in high school that I mighta banged, and I know I never woulda married them because I wouldn’t have wanted to get a biology lesson everytime I taxed it…
anywho, don’t be mad at me The Cavalier… please?
Not mad…just taking note of where people stand!
It’s cute when college students find forums for the first time. The passion, the constant posts, the defensive backlashes. Boney must be having the time of his life.
Go INDIANS!
Paul Byrd! What a find!
Joe BOROWSKI!!! WHO KNEW!?!?!
I kNoW! Fausto Carmona! Raffys 1 and 2! Gary Sheffield!
Detroit Tigers MVP = Travis Hafner. Because with him being hurt, Detroit has sorta been able to hang on in the division race!
Indians MVP = Tigers.
They forgot to use bats while batting for a month and they’re still up 4.5 games.
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