Stephon Marbury is in court
Published by The Cavalier September 13th, 2007 in NBA, New York Knicks, Isiah Thomas, Movies, Good Ideas, Girls, Stephon Marbury
In this day of CourtTV and Court TV2, we sit back in disbelief that the Isiah Thomas sexual harassment trial isn’t available for viewing.
It would surely make for the best of TV, especially on days like lasterday, when Knicks PG Stephon Marbury was set to testify.
If you haven’t followed the adventures of Starbury this past summer, the jist of it is thus: he has gone insane, the residual effects of Larry Brown’s coaching tenure lingering long enough to transmorph into full-blown dementia.
As such, it was with great anticipation that the world waited for word of his time on the stand. The results were both phenomenal and underwhelming all at once.
For example, regarding the alleged Knicks intern Marbury had relations with in a parking lot:
When he took the stand, Marbury admitted pulling up and asking the intern, “Are you going to get in the truck?” He said she answered, “Yes.” U.S. District Judge Gerard E. Lynch cut off any more questioning on the encounter, saying more details wouldn’t help the jury decide the case.
After Marbury finished testifying, he rode down 23 floors in a crowded elevator, saying to no one in particular: “Money makes you do crazy things, man.” Then he left the courthouse, smiling and singing a song out loud. When pressed to divulge more about his relationship with the intern, he instead commented cheerfully on a reporter’s shoes.
All we can really say about that is this Judge Lynch needs to be dismissed - he’s ruining this trial for everyone. A real shame.
Not a shame is what we thought was a revolutionary discovery made late lasterday. For some reason, we had the idea to brush our teeth in the shower.
It was during the “initial rinse-off” portion of the process, and when we realized the time we were saving (roughly two minutes), we were aghast that we’d never thought of this before. We’re efficient as far as human beings go, and this was the height of efficiency.
Now, as exciting as this was, it was equally as troubling. We asked a friend last night what she thought of this new paradigm we’d developed, and she revealed that she does this all the time.
We truely have no idea how this has passed us by all these years. We blame our mother, who as a child introduced us to such crude devices as “sinks” and processes as “using sinks”.
Do any of you do this? Do you think Stephon Marbury does?
NOTE: As an addendum to the flare-ups of the last couple days…this is why you’re supposed to get out when you’re on top, people - Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino, together on film…and straight to DVD. Don’t become a pale imitation of yourself - ever!
12 Responses to “Stephon Marbury is in court”
- 1 Pingback on Sep 13th, 2007 at 10:52 am
Next you can get a mirror, shave in the shower and really see the time saving.
But what about those of us who are so dumb that we’ll accidentally start brushing our teeth with soap, or washing our hair with toothpaste? I have enough trouble keeping…err, I mean, this was all hypothetical.
And interesting square root symbol on the press pass…so WSM? will be the root of everything square?
if you wear your dirty clothes in the shower, you can do laundry and clean up at the same time. i bet marbury does it.
and while he’s appeared… eccentric… lately, i’m not so sure he’s full blown crazy, yet. the cavalier, i mean.
steph’s completely lost it. and i love it.
all those people in the stands are waiting for the release of mamba!
A few points:
1 - Who dresses Stephon? My lord. I’m no Bravo TV host or anything, but wow his outfit has purples, baby blues, and a jacket my grandfather wouldn’t even wear.
2 - So let me get this straight, for the sake of a few moments, you are wasting gallons of water as you brush your teethes? All that water going down the drain. Do you know there are dehydrated kids in Uzbekistan who could use that water?
3 - Love Boat ref. - 11 days earlier than the Love Boat’s 30th anniversary. Get to sleuthing.
Shazam!
you’re not wasting water if you brush while you lather.
what would make this grosser would be if he admitted to urinating in the shower while brushing his teeth too
Water replenishes itself - it’s called like, rain and stuff. Hippies.
i brush my teeth in the shower and urinate as well… once i was farting in the shower and a little bit of poop came out.
I hate the warm water mouth rinse, so I refrain. But, as Crunch says, shaving in the shower is all good.
Is that you Taylor Hicks???? What is up with the hair??? Seriously man!!!
I prefer to shave out of the shower, and to fart above the specified bowl of waste transportation.
I also, like Flip Saunders, like my truthbox old school.