WHO SHOT MAMBA IPHONE

Adam Morrison is disgusting

by The Cavalier on October 7, 2007 · 42 comments

We just read something horrible about borderline NBA player Adam Morrison.

You know him – the Charlotte Bobcats forward who was supposed to be like all great and has a moustache. Well, the one-time #3 overall pick has been a bust so far, and we now hope he’s out of the NBA by the end of this year.

Adam Morrison chews tobacco AND smokes. Here – allow us to quote directly from the article to get more in-depth.

Bobcats swingman Adam Morrison. Morrison not only chews tobacco, but smokes cigarettes.

Look, there are only a few things we get really bent about, and here they are:

1) People who steal their creative “ideas” from other people.
2) People who waste their talents and/or potential.
3) People who kill our family and friends on purpose.
4) All tobacco products.

That’s pretty much it – you can do almost anything else, and we’ll be okay with you.

(Like, if you steal from us, we’re not going to talk to you much anymore, and we certainly won’t do business with you, but we’ll probably get over it.)

(Oh, and if you’re our girlfriend and you cheat on us, we’ll get over that, too. It might take NINE YEARS, but we’ll do it. Plus, we probably cheated on you, too. Y’know what – we DID. Yes, with more than just that one we told you about. They were both hotter than you, too – that’s another thing we lied about. Hope you’re happy with your “husband who has a real job” and your “house” in that “neighborhood where you don’t get guns pulled on you”.)

Anyway, smoking is pretty much the stupidest thing you can do*, and for a professional basketball player with a questionable future/skill set, even moreso. We assume if he’s using cigs AND dip, he’s probably doing #2 above, and if he comes within 10 feet of our family with his smoky demeanor, he’s doing #3.

In short, we shot this post out super-quick, because we needed to express our refusal to ever wish a prosperous career for Adam Morrison. Call us racist if you like, but we don’t like smokers.

*Kills you slowly and assuredly, PLUS gives you a disgusting cough, yellow teeth, bad skin, reduced lung capacity, prematurely ages you, bad breath, makes smart people hate you, and it costs money that could go to something that actually does something for you. Sounds like a great habit. Oh, that’s right – it’s helps you relax. That’s because you’re freaking addicted to it and screwed up your natural body chemistry.**

**We have somewhat strong feelings on this.***

***If you smoke, we will never date you, and we automatically drop 30 points off whatever we thought your IQ might have been.****

****Seriously, we could write 10,000 words on this without even really thinking about it. Our favorite bit of BS might be “smoker’s rights”. Yes, you poor maligned smokers…born with this horrible addiction. Poor things. It’s like the Civil Rights Movement all over again.

{ 2 trackbacks }

Adam Morrison is disgusting | Sports news and rumors
October 7, 2007 at 10:20 pm
David Stern loves quiche | Sports news and rumors
October 8, 2007 at 1:54 pm

{ 40 comments }

1 The SP October 7, 2007 at 10:25 pm

Damn….

2 Detroit Chris M October 7, 2007 at 10:48 pm

Did second-hand smoke kill mamba?

3 scott kohn October 7, 2007 at 11:14 pm

did Chris M just give away the secret ending of WSM.

4 DrOf Style October 8, 2007 at 1:53 am

Doesn’t Boney like to smoke?

5 mufugga October 8, 2007 at 2:05 am

smoking is good for ya jigga

6 The Cavalier October 8, 2007 at 6:34 am

Dipping is cool because it smells bad and looks like you have dirt in your mouth.

7 mercutioh October 8, 2007 at 7:19 am

I’m gonna go out a few limbs here with some further Adam Morrison Discourse.
Here are some more Adam Morrison Facts:

-He begins every car deal with “Does that thing have a hemi?”

-He Cries a little each time Freebird comes on.

-He has kissed/slept with/married no less than three cousins.

-He is accomplished at both Banjo wielding skills, Pickin and grinnin.

-He is the spokesman for the Anti-Alien Abduction Association.

-He was born a ramblin man

-He rhymes with Dresser

and I’m out.

8 Jack Cobra October 8, 2007 at 8:23 am

Call us racist if you like, but we don’t like smokers.

So, if you found out, if you didn’t already know, that LeFranchise was smoking some of that ganja would that make you hate him as well? Racist

9 Carlo October 8, 2007 at 8:38 am

Oh noes, a smoker! He’ll kill me and my entire family with his horrible cigarette smoke. The FUCKING SMOGLAND ALSO KNOWN AS LOS MOTHERFUCKING ANGELES IS NOT AT ALL TO BLAME! Why the hell do you care about who smokes? Do you have this same hate thorwards drinkers? What about people who fly planes or drive cars?

Smoking isn’t smart, but is it a reason to hate somebody? I guess your IQ is 30 points lower than I thought.

10 The Cavalier October 8, 2007 at 8:45 am

Give me one valid reason someone should want to smoke. There’s nothing good about it. NOTHING.

11 The Cavalier October 8, 2007 at 8:47 am

Jack I understand why people smoke pot – I don’t like it personally, but I get why people would smoke some when they go out, at a party, etc. People who smoke it every day, I think are idiots right along with cigarette smokers.

12 Carlo October 8, 2007 at 8:56 am

I never said there was anything good about it, but unless you yourself have smoked you have no idea how hard it is to quit. Nicotine is by far the most addictive legal substance. Actually it is even more addictive than heroin. Most smokers start at an early age. How often do you hear of a friend of yours just starting smoking at 30? Everybody knows it’s bad for you, come on. Still, it’s cool when you’re 13-14. (And even if you might not have thought it was, most kids do.)

13 The Cavalier October 8, 2007 at 9:51 am

“I’m going to continue to do this thing that’s horrible, expensive, disgusting and will eventually kill me, because it’s like really hard to stop.”

How much sense does that make?

14 Carlo October 8, 2007 at 10:01 am

Maybe you should stop flying planes and driving cars then, I mean it’s totally fucking up the environment. How hard can it be?

You still don’t get it, and never will. You haven’t smoked and thus have no idea how hard it is to quit.

15 Boney October 8, 2007 at 10:03 am

DrOf Style, why not ask me directly partnuh?

No, I don’t like to smoke. I think it is possibly the most disgusting thing someone could do to themselves. Even more disgusting than wearing an Indians shirt that is a size too small, so we call all see how cold it is outside!

take no prisoners!

16 Boney October 8, 2007 at 10:04 am

DrOf Style, why not ask me directly partnuh?

No, I don’t like to smoke. I think it is possibly the most disgusting thing someone could do to themselves. Even more disgusting than wearing an Indians shirt that is a size too small, so we can all see how cold it is outside!

take no prisoners!

17 Boney October 8, 2007 at 10:04 am

oh, and good riddance to the Cubs.

18 The Cavalier October 8, 2007 at 10:21 am

Carlo, your car/plane analogy makes no sense. What does that have to do with going out of your way to do something completely unnecessary that will kill you? (And is also disgusting.) I’m not talking about the environment, I’m talking about a personal choice to partake in a disgusting and harmful habit, that also damages everyone who’s in proximity to you.

I have a good friend who smokes around me all the time – he makes fun of me because I go stand as far away as possible while he puffs away. I’m constantly amazed that I’m the one being teased when he’s the one basically committing suicide.

Also, if you think you shouldn’t try to do something simply because it’s really, really hard to do, I don’t know what to tell you.

19 Nets fan October 8, 2007 at 10:55 am

yeah Cav I hate being around people who smoke, especially in my workplace. I have to hold my breath and turn my head to another side to grab another fresh breath of air. These people have no regard whatsoever for anyone else. You wanna die a nice painful death, KEEP ME OUT OF IT!

20 Boney October 8, 2007 at 10:57 am

How about this:

Smokers are the most inconsiderate people on the face of the earth.

There, is that “cut to the chase” enough for you Carlo? It’s absolutely disgusting to smell, it’s disgusting to be around, and it’s completely ridiculous for smokers to get pissed at non-smokers who gripe about the stench of it while they’re paying to eat their meals at a restaurant.

How about when I want to leave a baseball or football game, I’m forced to walk through what amounts to be possibly 2 cartons of cigarette smoke being blown in my face as I walk down the ramp to try and exit the stadium? Is that fair to anyone that doesn’t smoke? Of course you don’t find it inconsiderate considering you’re the type of guy that would probably blow smoke in a kid’s face as he’s exiting an arena…

get over it bro, smoking is disgusting and smoKERS are inconsiderate.

21 Jack Cobra October 8, 2007 at 11:23 am

I thought this was one of those, “hardy, ha, ha” posts, sorry about that.

You can’t make people stop doing something they don’t want to stop doing, no matter how hard you try. They have to want to change it themselves

22 The SP October 8, 2007 at 11:39 am

I knew there would be at least one die hard smoker on here to start World War YAY!

23 The Cavalier October 8, 2007 at 11:41 am

If they want to destroy their lives by all means, go ahead – just don’t take me with you and make me smell bad in the process.

Adam Morrison is even worse than most smokers, though, and that’s the real point here. While everyone can benefit from being as healthy as possible, he literally makes his living by being as fit and healthy as possible. He’s stupid.

24 davcbow October 8, 2007 at 11:43 am

Why do people have to make other peoples bussiness theirs? If someone wants to smoke let them as long as they dont blow it in your face. Sure smoking is bad for you, so what business is it of yours what I may do to myself? None…. Mind your own business.
This entire country has the same problem of everybody wanting to stick their noses in someone else’s business , Im sick of it.

25 The Cavalier October 8, 2007 at 11:45 am

I don’t care if you smoke. I don’t care if Adam Morrison smokes, but I’m allowed to call him stupid for doing so.

26 Boney October 8, 2007 at 12:01 pm

Actually it is my business because all smokers are inconsiderate. You may not smoke in my car out of consideration of me, but the stench of your hemp hippy clothing will invariably sneak into the leather and leave a stench that is the complete opposite of new car smell!

have at you, smokers!

27 John R. October 8, 2007 at 12:27 pm

I like that commercial for smoking where the big bad smoke monster travels magically through a building to settle down on a baby on another floor.

I don’t smoke, but anti-smoking people, despite their rational choice in the matter, still manage to come off massively irrational whenever the subject is lighting things on fire and putting them in the oral cavity. I’d say the inconsideration meter has maxed out on the anti-smoking side when folks will soon be banned from smoking in their own homes.

I’ll start to worry about second hand smoke if I ever move out of LA’s wonderful air AND Duke University cures everything else that might kill you today such as walking down the street and getting run over by a car or cars.

My hunch is that The Cavalier is not really comfortable with his own mortality.

28 grifter October 8, 2007 at 12:40 pm

in conclusion… smoking (and by extension, adam morrison) is not warm and friendly???

seriously, you’re gonna have to bring the funny to make up for a thread full of “serious” posts.

29 Boney October 8, 2007 at 12:41 pm

I still enjoy the comparisons of smoking to walking down the street and getting run over by a car, or flying in a plane and crashing and dying. Of course, it would suck to be stuck behind a big diesel pickup truck spewing toxins into the atmosphere but I think all of us haven’t really complained about the health of the ozone OR the general health of us all… we’ve all been complaining about the voluntary nature of which toolbags that carry around a $6 pack of smokes choose to kill themselves by..

I’d rather be run over by a car and instantly dead than hooked up to a machine like my grandfather that is his only way of breathing because his lung (yes, I said lung as in singular) is so riddled with lung cancer that it is too weak to breathe in anything other than forced air.

Yeah, that’s a life I want to live… I’d rather watch the Cavs win the NBA Finals than die of lung cancer. That’s how serious I am!

30 The Cavalier October 8, 2007 at 1:06 pm

John but I am!

31 Carlo October 8, 2007 at 1:21 pm

“Smokers are the most inconsiderate people on the face of the earth.

There, is that “cut to the chase” enough for you Carlo? It’s absolutely disgusting to smell, it’s disgusting to be around, and it’s completely ridiculous for smokers to get pissed at non-smokers who gripe about the stench of it while they’re paying to eat their meals at a restaurant.”

Parents are the most inconsiderate people on the face of the earth.

There, is that “cut to the chase” enough for you Boney? They’re fucking noisy, they are annoying to be around and it’s completely ridiculous for parents to get pissed at non-parents who gripe about the noises while they’re paying to eat their meals at a resturant.

Yo, stupidface; if you don’t wanna be near smokers go to a place that doesn’t allow smokers. How motherfucking hard is it? I mean REALLY!? Guess what, I don’t fucking blow smoke in peoples direction, I even fucking move as far as makes sense away from people when I light up a cigarette as to not be impolite. Hey, I don’t drive a car, but do you see me standing on the street ranting about how your fucking cars are destroying my lungs? How all the fucking cellphones and power lines are fucking up my DNA slowly? And as the US of A is responsible for 25% of the worlds CO2 emission I would thread very fucking lightly when it comes to talk about who is causing most harm here, “pal”. Your car is fucking up the lungs of every kid, as seen in the explosive rates of astma across the globe. Now go back to your pathetic life and let grown ups continue their discussion.

“Also, if you think you shouldn’t try to do something simply because it’s really, really hard to do, I don’t know what to tell you.”

Where did I say that quiting smoking isn’t worth doing? I simply said it’s really fucking hard to do.

“If they want to destroy their lives by all means, go ahead – just don’t take me with you and make me smell bad in the process.”

Well have you thought about not standing around smokers? I mean, come on. Second hand smoke has got to be inhaled for a long period of time to have an effect on your health.

Also, if you people are so sick and tired about smoking, why not do something about it? Here in Norway it’s illegal to smoke inside, unless it’s in your own home. You are also not allowed to smoke near entry/exit-areas. If there is one thing that’s really sad it’s people who complain and complain but don’t want to get of their ass to do anything about it.

This is gonna be my last post about this. I know I’m not gonna change and I’m pretty sure you aren’t either, even though you come of as babies who are used to getting your way no matter what.

Wanna live in a smoke free environment? Move to motherfucking Shitsville, Nowhere.

32 The Cavalier October 8, 2007 at 1:26 pm

California is also a smoke-free indoor place. There are factions pushing to eliminate smoking in all public places, which would be a dream.

Would love to see that research on second-hand smoke. When I inhale it once, I start coughing – that’s an affect on my health last time I checked.

33 Boney October 8, 2007 at 1:48 pm

Why should I move?

Yo, I didn’t even get ON the topic of smokers in the workplace. Occasionally I slam on a business suit when I, you know, gotta impress a client or something during a pre-construction presentation and when I come in and out of an office building where all the smokers are gathered like rats right by the front door because either a. it’s extremely hot out or b. it’s extremely cold out, and my sillyness gets tainted by the stench of another one’s marlboro, who’s fault is it, mine? Give me a break man, smokers are the most inconsiderate people that I have ever met. Parents may be douchebags, but at least when they yell at you about stupid things you aren’t going to end up hooked up to a ventilator when you’re in your 60s having oxygen forced down your throat.

Honestly, this isn’t a discussion about the ENVIRONMENT. My 1 car doesn’t spew ridiculous emissions, but my new silly will once I get it. This is a discussion about smokers and how inconsiderate they are. Sure, you’re allowed to have a choice. Honestly, I don’t care that people do smoke, I’m just saying that it’s inconsiderate as hell to stand right outside of a building blowing their stench onto me and the party I’m with.

How can you not see the inconsiderate nature of that very example? It happens EVERYWHERE… sporting events, restaurants, shit my mom even did it at a CHUCK E CHEESE when I was little and had a birthday party there. It’s inconsiderate, smokers care about nothing other than themselves and the pack of smokes they have.

34 The Cavalier October 8, 2007 at 2:31 pm

Don’t forget Morrison is diabetic, also – another great reason he should smoke.

35 Boney October 8, 2007 at 2:35 pm

don’t forget that if you photoshopped a flannel shirt on him in that picture, he wouldn’t have looked uncomfortable…

go ahead, call him a douche Cav. Your “R” rating came out when you referenced the “B” word in one of your other posts…

36 John R. October 8, 2007 at 11:15 pm

“blah blah blah diesel truck, blah blah blah $6 pack.”

There’s that patented irrationality and self-importance I’ve been talking about. Cigarette’s, per se, do not cost $6 per pack. They cost that much because self-righteous jerks have made it so. If the free market were allowed to roam as such, the product is pretty cheap to grow and manufacture.

And again, if you live in LA like The Cavalier and I do, yeah, you are pretty much sucking on the back of a diesel truck all day, so the comparison is quite apt, as much as you would like to dismiss it, and as much as I would like to add another qualifier, requiring another comma, in this sentence.

Again, I do not smoke and I see the inherent irrationality in it. But it doesn’t make me hate America.

37 scott kohn October 9, 2007 at 8:40 pm

damns he smokes with diabetes. the dude is a major idiot

38 nckid October 10, 2007 at 1:32 am

“Actually it is my business because all smokers are inconsiderate.”

Boney-

All of your arguments on this point are completely ridiculous. How can you possibly say all smokers are inconsiderate? You talk about people huddled around an entrance to building, but completely ignore the fact that some smokers may be around the corner of that building in some alley, being fucking CONSIDERATE to nonsmokers. Pretty much everything else you can said on the matter can be countered the exact same way… of course you only notice the inconsiderate smokers because they are the ones causing you problems. Of course there are inconsiderate people, and of course some of them are smokers, but to say that all smokers are inconsiderate is just silly.

btw I don’t smoke anymore, but when I did I was for the most part extremely considerate of others

39 Frank October 11, 2007 at 4:27 pm

Logic doesn’t work on the Bonester.

40 Alaina June 16, 2008 at 10:00 pm

Give the guy a break.

Granted, smoking is stupid, especially for someone with such a bright future ahead of him. But also keep in mind where he was raised, the northwest is know for all the people that dip and smoke up there, so consider that he was practically raised on the ideology that smoking/dipping is just a way of life.

And if you’re gonna make cracks about his intelligence level, keep in mind that he said this to Mark Few from Gonzaga when Few strongly encouraged them all to go to church weekly “Religion is the opiate of the masses”.

Dont be so quick to judge. Everyone has personality flaws.

http://www.myspace.com/morrisonmaniacs owner,
Alaina

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