Antoine Walker is a Timberwolf
Published by The Cavalier October 25th, 2007 in NBA, Minn. T-Wolves, Injuries, LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers, Kobe Bryant, Trades, Miami Heat, Hamburgers
Kobe Bryant injuring his wrist should probably be the biggest winner of the What’s the Cavalier Gonna Write About Today? Award.
A logical runner-up would obviously be LeBron heading down to the low post more often FINALLY.
But no - not today. Neither of those lines of thought bring forth the mystical quality we so often strive for.
That’s why we must speak of Antoine Walker’s trade to the Minnesota Timberwolves, which is what’s known in some circles as destiny.
Some people are claiming it’s a miracle he could be moved at all, and we must agree.
‘Toine is overweight, out of shape, a ballhog, a gunner, and hates working hard. At 30 years old, he’s ready to do the Shawn Kemp - put on 30 extra pounds, become completely irrelevant on a bad team, then disappear quietly as he collects millions.
No place better to do that than Minnesota, widely believed to be one of the worst teams in the NBA this season.
Wow, we just read this through and realized there aren’t really any jokes. Must be having a bad day - we will go try to think of some jokes now.
(The truth of the matter is that we moved, and have been without Tivo for like 5 days now. We feel like some kind of inhuman “thing”. We haven’t even turned on the Truthbox for 3 days - it’s all quite weird. This should be rectified by days end.)
NOTE: The trade was for Ricky Davis and Mark Blount, both of whom could be useful on the Heat. (Speaking of them, is it possible Dwyane Wade has seen his best days? Can’t you just see him kinda always being injured with something for like the next three years or so?)
NOTE 2: Minnesota also go like some crappy 1st round picks or something. Kevin McHale really struck again here.
24 Responses to “Antoine Walker is a Timberwolf”
- 1 Pingback on Oct 25th, 2007 at 9:38 am
Toine is overweight, out of shape, a ballhog, a gunner, and hates working hard. At 30 years old, he’s ready to do the Shawn Kemp - put on 30 extra pounds, become completely irrelevant on a bad team, then disappear quietly as he collects millions.
Just like me, sans the millions, of course.
I have this impression of Toine that he’s essentially the NBA equivalent of an overweight single white woman in her mid-to-late 40s.
I hate ‘Toine but the dude was unstoppable at Kentucky. I think that’s what makes me hate him so much. If he could just stay in shape…..kind of like Derrick Coleman I guess.
‘cept Antoine didn’t try an’ 40 hamburgers during the all star-game last year. (That we know of anyway. Seriously, does anyone else remember Coleman doing this or was it somebody else? I’m beginning to think it wasn’t him…?)
I think to say “if ‘Toine could stay in shape” suggests, incorrectly, that he wants to stay in shape.
Sadly, you are probably correct Fios.
One of my friends is a huge Walker fan and a couple of years ago we nearly got into a fist fight because I told him that Antawn Jamison would end up with the better career….
My boss loves ‘Toine, I never can understand it, I honestly can’t think of a stretch of his career where I’d consider him a player I enjoyed watching. It’s not because I think he’s particularly bad either, he just seems uninspired. What worries me, and obviously the talent gulf is vast, is that I see that “whatever’ vibe from LeBron far too often for my liking.
that article regarding LeBron is about him taking the “low road” as in, he’s not going to continue talking about the guys that don’t want to play for them.
and if Toine turns in to Shawn Kemp, bring back the baby blue and black away uniforms and call it the mid-90’s baby!
Unrelated: You aren’t gonna be one of these guys who goes on strike, are you Mr. Screenwriter?
No choice really, but it doesn’t really affect me much, because I only write features and am buried in post-prod on my own at the moment…I tend to agree with most of what this guy says, if you’re into the whole situation:
www.theartfulwriter.com
To quote one of the rappers of Athletic Mic Leauge; That shit’s some wack shit! I didn’t even read it, but screen writers make tons of dough. Don’t be a puss’! Also, I’d really like to see the Cavs break out the NC-blue and black uni’s again. I might actually root for them. Who was that white guard I liked when they wore those jerseys? And was it Coleman who ate all those burgers or what? Drunkposting is awesome! That actually says something ’bout your site, Brian. I visit it even when I’m drunk. I demand more than one post per day!
So Stuckey breaking his hand was the logical ‘Honorable Mention’ post subject?
Anyways, to continue with this ‘Toine & Kemp lazy theme, strikes, and general YAY! Malaise; any interest out there among the readership of joining a NBA fantasy league?
I think that’d be a great idea.
Chris Mills!
Bob Sura?
Randolph Keys
J.R. Rider!
Cedric Henderson!
Wesley
YOU KNOW WHICH WAN I’S TALKIN ‘BOUT.
Scoop Jackson would like you to know that blogs are, by definition, killing the NBA.
His definition: Blogs (a portmanteau of “Web” and “log,” or unsolicited commentaries posted on the Internet as expert opinion) were born in or around 1983, and have become more important to public perception than mainstream media columns. Bloggers have had a great impact on the shifting or directing of the base of public reality. According to Technorati (a blog search engine), there are approximately 106 million blogs in existence. Of those 106 million, it’s been estimated that more than 100,000 deal specifically with American sports. And the sport the blogs and bloggers hate the most: basketball. The league they will give the least benefit of the doubt to: the NBA. This year the NBA can give bloggers no more reasons to hate than they already have. The power of the blog can kill the league.
Tom Donaghy is killing the NBA. Scoop Jackson is killed the credibility of mainstream media. Anybody want to email him the definition of plagiarism?
Sorry, forgot to include the link!
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=jackson/071029
There is nothing fat about Antoine at all. Al Jefferson is twice as wide as him.
HAY ANTOINE YOU PROBALY WILL REMEMBER ME MY NAME IS LEWIS VALENTINE I USE TO COACH AT VITATION PARISH IN CHICAGO ON GARFIELD BLVD .I ALWAY KNOW THAT YOU WAS GONG TO MAKE IT IN THE NBA.IF YOU REMEMBER ME I USE TO COACH BOYSCOUTS. YUST SAYING HI WELL HOPE YOU HIT ME BACK .NOW IM 41 I LIVE IN NC.IF YOU WANT TO CALL A BROTHER MY NUMBER IS 919 288 4075