There are certain nightmares that any Cleveland sports fan has.
One would be the Indians getting clubbed to death by the City of Boston Red Socks. The other is LeBron James getting injured before the season even starts.
In a grand show of cosmic cruelty, both events occurred last night.
The former in the ALCS, the latter during a preseason game with the Seattle Supersonics. Couple those events with our sister drinking wine in our apartment with some (unacceptable) dude at 5am this morning when we got up, and it’s been a rough 12-14 hours.
”It’s a stinger, I had one of those before playing football so I know exactly what it felt like,” said James, who will not miss any time with the injury. ”I was trying to fight through a screen, and I got caught on the wrong spot on the shoulder.”
”We don’t have a zone offense right now,” James said. ”We had some good looks, but we didn’t attack the zone the right way.”
Well, that ouchy doesn’t sound so bad, and more than likely LeBron is just finding a way to sit out the preseason. (Of course, that doesn’t bode well, either.)
THAT SAID, the latter quote? Yet another CLE nightmare. To repeat:
They don’t even have a zone offense right now.
They don’t even have one. It’s just like, “Yeah, we didn’t put one in. Hey, are we going to see that new George Clooney movie later?”
Since we’re a 9 out of 10 in terms of “sick over Cleveland sports” this morning, let’s just move on to said George Clooney movie, titled Michael Clayton. Because of our fancy Hollywood lifestyle, we saw this at a screening a couple weeks ago.
Go see it – like, now. It’s excellent, and we say that in the most mature way we can. Normally, “guys in suits” movies don’t do much for us, but that was really good, which makes us think maybe we grew up just a little bit this year.
Yes, it’s true. And with our maturity level now stand at a solid 16 years of age, we…we have no end to this sentence. GOOD DAY.
NOTE: We went to the gym for an hour instead of sitting here writing, as the situation was a little awkward. “Hey, I’m just gonna go ahead and do some LeBron James photoshopping. You guys keep chugging that wine. Oh, and if you try anything on my sister, I’ll rip your throat out with my bare hands.” Anyway, it’s now 7am as we finish this, and it seems young sister has gone to sleep. Mom of The Cavalier may begin the crying and cursing of Los Angeles…now.
NOTE 2: Mom of The Cavalier is surely quite torn and confused right now, as she also will shed tears at the mere sight of George Clooney, who she loves more than us.
NOTE 3: We don’t feel bad about that at all – we’re still ahead of Dad of The Cavalier, who’s like #36 on the list last time it was updated.
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Sigh. When will Mike Brown be fired for his incompetence? I’ve tried to be somewhat pro-Mike Brown, but how can you not have a zone offense? HOW?! GRR!!!
As for the sis–sorry, man. I’m kind of glad I don’t have sisters for that reason. I’m having enough trouble getting used to my brother being engaged; it’s like “But you are ordinary! How can he marry you? You have no superpowers!” I mean, she should at least be able to levitate or something, no? I mean, she’s getting to tap into the same gene pool that produced MCBias; she’s got to bring something to the table too. ha.
So you let said stranger go to his car and drive away? You know bars get sued for that. The least you could have done was bid him adieu and hoped he crashed and burned in a firey blaze.
at least you didn’t wake up and find one of your boys on top of some rando chick that was drunk earlier in the night, mauling her like a grizzly bear on Saturday morning around like 4:00am or so…
yeah, that was my weekend
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