Here’s something about NBA All-Star Weekend that we don’t get.
Everyone complains and complains about how badly Saturday Night, especially the dunk contest, stinks.
While some people, ie “us”, recommend and develop genius ideas like All-Star 1-on-1 (which exists in certain fictional universes), others beg and plead for…H-O-R-S-E.
Well, you get your wish – the NBA is gonna experiment with it this year via the D-League on Friday night. Via Henry of TrueHoopLand:
I talked to the head of the NBA’s D-League, Dan Reed, today (more on that later), and he told me the excellent news that this All-Star Weekend’s Friday night festivities will include a D-League H-O-R-S-E competition.
An official role of the D-League is to experiment with things the NBA is considering doing.
So I hope that H-O-R-S-E contest works out swimmingly.
We don’t.
People are aware this isn’t going to be like the Jordan-Bird McDonalds commercials, right?
It’s gonna be two guys walking around shooting jump-shots. That’s it. And they’ll make the vast majority of them, because the pros can make open jumpers, especially the guys they’ll sign on to do this.
H-O-R-S-E (hereafter “HORSE”, because we don’t want to type dashes anymore) is fun to play. Specifically, it’s fun to play with your dad, when you’re twelve years old.
(At 13, you theoretically should begin challenging your dad in 1-on-1, assuming you aspire to be a man one day.)
HORSE is not fun to watch.
It’s like watching someone play video games, which is one of the most boring things one can possibly do.
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in the NBA, they play H-O.
the game has very little to do with basketball, but features a lot of shots.
All-Star weekend is in a slump. Shaq breakdancing in front of Dwight Howard stands out way more as a recent all-star weekend memory than it should.
How did you photoshop that meat into a 3D rendering of Ohio? That is awesome.
HORSE sucks as an All-Star event – discuss.
I’d watch HORSE if the shots were crazy dunks and half courters and backwards, and they were actually making a decent number of them. And cutting it to PIG might be good for watchability. It’d be better than the skills competition of the current dunk contest.
A 1 on 1 tournament would be way way cooler than anything they have going right now.
no dunks allowed. play it for 500k….all to the victor and a championship belt that the winner has to wear during warm-ups the rest of the season. turn off the speaker system and let the fans get involved. Don’t limit it to just guards/forwards…..only let players participate if they ask…in other words, don’t send out invites.
The one on one tourney would be really nice but with all the insurance/health issues that would come about because of it, it would be difficult to put together. LeBron would win anyways since no one could stop him if he actually tried
HORSE is better than the 2 ball or the other skills competition because noone in the NBA can throw a bounce pass anymore….
besides, a 1 on 1 competition promotes single athletes when the game should be all about the team!
Honestly, I think 1 on 1 would be best, or like a 3 on 3 half court game with 3 members of the 1st, 2nd and 3rd place teams in their respective conferences. Winner of the 3 on 3 gets home court in the NBA Finals for their conference and a 500,000 purse with half going to the United Way or something. 3 on 3 to 21, with 3s being worth 2 and 2s being worth 1!
I think you ought to hire Greg Odens tonsils to succeed you after you step down as head honcho of yaysports. Because I am Boney and expected to say dumb things that everyone yells at me for I have a list of reasons why Greg Odens tonsils should replace you the caviar…
1. Greg Odens tonsils have a strong jaw line.
2. Greg Odens tonsils will write about the caviars life, because lets face it, at this point this website has no nba news that is relevant anymore and thats the ONLY reason to come here.
3. Greg Odens tonsils believe in abortion. Its a womens right!
4. Greg Odens tonsils have a testicular tumor that Chris Bosh may/may not want to bite off with his dinosaur teeth.
5. I have/had an unsucessful website that I tried to gain an audience for and failed.
6. Greg Odens tonsils are dating my sister, and I dont want him lousing around on the couch all day. He needs to do right by my sister Greta Van Sustren.
Thats all
Boney
“Winner of the 3 on 3 gets home court in the NBA Finals for their conference and a 500,000 purse with half going to the United Way or something. 3 on 3 to 21, with 3s being worth 2 and 2s being worth 1!”
So you just want them to play the final 6 minutes of the Conference Finals during All-Star weekend?
oh yes it’s a real real raptor
so nice , (^_^)
Boney I don’t know what you said – too many numbers in there.
1-on-1 tourney makes the most sense, and if these guys are gonna say no because they’re afraid of getting hurt playing (at most) 3 games of 1-on-1, then I’m right in my assessment of not being interested in the league anymore.
$1M purse and I bet those injury concerns clear up real quick.
It’s not necessarily the conference finals, but usually the 3 top teams in both conferences are the favorites among basketball watchers so you could do a 3 on 3 tourney and here’s how it’d stack up:
1 (East) vs. 3 (West)
2 (East) vs. 2 (West)
3 (East) vs. 1 (West)
And then considering I didn’t really think it through all that well:
Round robin format
1s v 2s
2s v 3s
each team can pick who they want to use but only substitutions if injuries happen… so like the Wiz can use Arenas (if healthy), Caron and Antawn and Houston could use Yao, McGrady and Battier… but your team is your team… OR you could do your D-league representative, WNBA city representative, and NBA player.
losers bracket
double elimination
win by 2
3s count as 2s, 2s count as 1s
players call their own fouls…
and again, that wasn’t me with the linked name.. if you want to copy me Greg Oden’s Tonsils, then at least remove the link to your caviar.gif.
Horse…dunks allowed.
“I call a alley-oop, kiss the rim dunk with the Spud Webb legs…”
Then everyone matches…
I used to watch a bunch of Community College ballers play this game all the time. Highly entertaining.
You also don’t get the Nate Robinson “try a dunk six times so I can make one” thing, either.
> 3. Greg Odens tonsils believe in abortion. Its a womens right!
Apostrophes look like tonsils, that a ‘Boney’ who doesn’t use them looks like Greg Odens Tonsils. Not that he was hiding it much…
The biggest problem with a 1 on 1 tourney is not insurance or health issues. They play 1 on 1 almost every game with 8 other guys on the court watching in the regular season.
The biggest reason the 1 on 1 tourney wouldn’t happen is PRIDE.
If they get punked, there isn’t 4 other guys and a coach to absorb the blow. Some guys would be down but there is no way Tmac or LeNike would be ok with even the possibility of losing a 1 on 1 game in front of everyone. I still think that’s why LeNike stays away from NBA dunk contests.
Players that would do it:
Gilbert Arenas (cause he’s ok with laughing at himself, Hibachi!)
Kobe Bryant (because he’s been dying to win something by himself for years)
Shawn Marion (because he recently got the urge to win something all by himself)
Isiah Thomas (cause he thinks he plays harder than any of the Knick’s players, which may be true.)
The caviar,
Whenever your nutts get tired, you can rest them on me.
Regards,
Greg Odens Tonsils
War The Cavaliers beating the Spurs, finally.
ITS ABOUT TO BE A WHAT????GIRLFIGHT
WORD TO YOUR MUTHA BONEY, WORD INDEED.
POOPMOUTH.
Desirably,
Greg Odens tonsils(#4 fan of the caviar)
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