Shaq is almost a PHX Sun

Everyone hates this deal, but we think we’ve got it figured out, and it’s all about two words: ANGRY SHAQ.

If the Suns figure it’s now or never time, ie they need to win it this year, then Angry Shaq might be the best way to do it, plus they don’t really need him on the fast break.

On the other side of the equation, they probably want him to rebound a lot and shoot a ton of outlet passes – Shaq hates rebounding. (Although Angry Shaq might do it just to spite Pat Riley & MIA.)

Whatever – if this happens, it’s clearly the year of the out-of-nowhere-big-name-trade, which means anybody could be moving on a moment’s notice.

This means Tracy McGrady should keep his bags packed and his “It’s a business and we all know you can be moved at any time” speech ready.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about taffy.

In 1422, in a small village in Western South America, a man invented taffy.

“It’s sticky and will make you immortal!” he screamed.

His neighbor quickly came over to see what the commotion was about. “This taffy! It will make you immortal, and it is sticky!”

“Have you had any yet?”

“No, but my immortality is imminent – observe!”

As he raised the taffy to his lips, the neighbor bludgeoned him with a bludgeon, killing him. He then ate the taffy himself, and lived forever.

NOTE: Like you didn’t know, it’s Shaq for Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks. We don’t know what this does for the Heat, but we picture Marion as someone who would love living on South Beach.