We love this pick for McCain’s VP – if you really need to make a splash, pick someone the vast majority of the country has never heard of.
That way, everyone just assumes she’s got like some special quality that only a presidential candidate can assess and discover. This is because most people won’t bother to read up her at all, like us.
There’s the real trickery, though – we DID read up on her. In fact, we read a whole four paragraphs into the MSNBC article.
Not only is she governor of Alaska…not only is she 44…but then there’s this.
Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’ve been blessed with the right timing here,Ã¢â‚¬Â Palin said before the election. Ã¢â‚¬Å“There’s no doubt that Alaskans right now are dealing in an atmosphere of distrust of government and industry. I’m also have wicked skills on a computer, and I’m a vampire! I vant to suck your blood!Ã¢â‚¬Â
We’re totally down with this, because we’ve always wanted to be a vampire. Like we watched Interview With the Vampire, and we’re all like, “Why is Brad Pitt so upset? That’s like the best life!”
Plus, this woman knows how to use a computer, so she can check McCain’s email for him.
Truthfully, we think McCain just picked her because he thinks she’s a young girl. Like, when we were in high school, 21-year old girls seemed like they’d probably been around the block fifty times.
Now, they seem so young and innocent! We’re sure this moves along at a relative scale once you’re 86 years old like him – he’s just like, “Hey girl, you want an outside chance at being a vampire president in case I die? Yeah, come sit on my lap, baby.”
You can expect much more hard-hitting political analysis in the days ahead. So far, everything we know aboot the election is in the last two posts, but we’re gonna try and pick up every bit of info we can, without trying too hard. Promise.
(Actually, looking at her, she was probably pretty freaking hot when she was younger. We might actually be right on this!)