Sarah Palin is giving mad props to baked potatoes

by The Cavalier on August 29, 2008 · 21 comments

sarah-palin.pngWe love this pick for McCain’s VP – if you really need to make a splash, pick someone the vast majority of the country has never heard of.

That way, everyone just assumes she’s got like some special quality that only a presidential candidate can assess and discover. This is because most people won’t bother to read up her at all, like us.

There’s the real trickery, though – we DID read up on her. In fact, we read a whole four paragraphs into the MSNBC article.

Not only is she governor of Alaska…not only is she 44…but then there’s this.

“I’ve been blessed with the right timing here,” Palin said before the election. “There’s no doubt that Alaskans right now are dealing in an atmosphere of distrust of government and industry. I’m also have wicked skills on a computer, and I’m a vampire! I vant to suck your blood!”

We’re totally down with this, because we’ve always wanted to be a vampire. Like we watched Interview With the Vampire, and we’re all like, “Why is Brad Pitt so upset? That’s like the best life!”

Plus, this woman knows how to use a computer, so she can check McCain’s email for him.

Truthfully, we think McCain just picked her because he thinks she’s a young girl. Like, when we were in high school, 21-year old girls seemed like they’d probably been around the block fifty times.

Now, they seem so young and innocent! We’re sure this moves along at a relative scale once you’re 86 years old like him – he’s just like, “Hey girl, you want an outside chance at being a vampire president in case I die? Yeah, come sit on my lap, baby.”

You can expect much more hard-hitting political analysis in the days ahead. So far, everything we know aboot the election is in the last two posts, but we’re gonna try and pick up every bit of info we can, without trying too hard. Promise.

(Actually, looking at her, she was probably pretty freaking hot when she was younger. We might actually be right on this!)

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The 10-man rotation, starring Manu’s damaged ligament |
September 6, 2008 at 12:32 am


1 The Akronite August 29, 2008 at 12:24 pm

She was hot. This is from Wikipedia: Palin was was a 1984 runner-up in the Miss Alaska pageant, receiving a scholarship to attend the University of Idaho, where she received a journalism degree. After working as a sports reporter at an Anchorage television station…

2 Admiral Von Snugglesworth IV August 29, 2008 at 1:32 pm

I’d blow her.

3 Sam August 29, 2008 at 3:07 pm

You know what’s scary about you calling McCain an 86 year old man? He made this announcement on his 72nd birthday so he’d be 80 if he served two terms.

While we’re on the subject of hotness, don’t forget to mention her love of drilling:

4 S.Tan August 29, 2008 at 3:59 pm
5 Casey Ryback August 29, 2008 at 10:18 pm

I’ll take you to the bank, Senator Obama. To the blood bank!

6 Willy S August 29, 2008 at 11:15 pm

And she was a mean baller, too. Leading her team to victory on a sprained ankle!!! Imagine that

7 joe c. August 31, 2008 at 3:01 pm

if this site doesnt start referring to boozer as betrayal skull guy, then it truly is dead.

8 The Cavalier August 31, 2008 at 5:24 pm

If you think I actually would, then you never understood the site, anyway. :(

9 Casey Ryback September 1, 2008 at 9:38 pm


*high five*

10 Notmyrealname September 3, 2008 at 9:08 pm

As long as jack cobra is never heard from again im good. No one really gives a shit about this site anymore anyway, but fuck jack with an iron fist.

11 Sam September 5, 2008 at 12:03 pm

Didn’t you take “Who Shot Mamba” from “Who Shot JR?” Mr. high horse rider

12 Hey Dumb Ass September 6, 2008 at 10:27 am

Sam, are you serious? I’ve already said that this “movie” will not get released because he has hyped it up so much and he realizes how much it sucks. It will never be released.

13 Hey Dumb Ass September 6, 2008 at 10:31 am

And you can take that to the bank.

The money bank.

14 Sam September 6, 2008 at 1:26 pm

Thanks how much is it worth?

15 Sam September 6, 2008 at 1:34 pm

Also, please explain to me how my comment had anything to do with whether or not the movie was being released. (Was I being serious about what exactly?)

My comment was directed at the fact that Cav seems to put such a premium on originality and yet named his movie after an episode of a 20 year old TV show.

16 Netsfan September 6, 2008 at 2:33 pm

So uh how do we even get to watch this movie? Its been forever and he’s hyped it up so much its a disservice not to let us watch it.. Is this movie real still or what??

17 The Cavalier September 6, 2008 at 4:17 pm

The title is an homage, not a rip-off – there’s a big difference. If you want to know what’s going on with it, it’s as easy as emailing me and asking.

18 Sam September 7, 2008 at 6:41 am

Doesn’t matter if it is an homage, it’s still unoriginal. I’ve got no beef with it, I’m just saying.

19 The Cavalier September 7, 2008 at 11:52 am

I can’t win with you people.

20 Boney September 7, 2008 at 12:45 pm

“you people” = racist

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