WHO SHOT MAMBA IPHONE

From the category archives:

Blog Suicide

Pau GasolPau and Kobe are working great together, the Shaq trade is official, we forgot to change our credit card info on the server account after that gambling hi-jack incident, and then neglected to change it for like a week as we received emails saying, “We’re gonna shut you down, kid. We’ll do it.”

Sorry about that.

There is a redesign coming, and we hoped to actually disappear for like two weeks and come back online with it, but then we were all like, “Man, we kinda miss having the site there.”

So we paid the bill, and here we are.

Jordi said this about us on his site during the Blog Confusion:

Few bloggers are more unpredictable than The Cavalier of YaySports!. A self-proclaimed disinterested Cleveland Cavaliers fan, the eccentric genius has in the past year run his site much like Osama Bin Laden – dropping an occasional rambling message while his acolytes (myself included) keep hope alive.

God, we love being an enigma.

Can one be an enigma while at the same time admitting that you’re trying to be enigmatic? Does the proclamation overwhelm the actions?

We have no idea, and that in and of itself is pretty enigmatic, which means we even look at ourself and think, “Jesus, man. How the hell are you wired up there?”

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Chris Bosh

We’re super-busy working on possibly the longest Carnival of the NBA ever, which is due tomorrow. The record shall be ours – we know this, because there is no record so far that we know of.

So we’re like at the computer, we’re checking comments, and we’re writing for the site – it’s just that most everything you see that we’re writing right now will be up tomorrow.

Regardless, comment away – surely we can find something to talk about – maybe LeBron not doing anything for three quarters, then blowing up in the fourth against the Rnaptors? Coach Mike? Why does he let that happen?

Any answers? Same questions we’ve been asking for two years; you’d think someone would’ve figured it out be now.

Failing that, an in-depth discussion of which type of meat Chris Bosh enjoys most would be great.

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LeBron JamesFirst off, we read all about the Cavs-Hawks game last night, and it sounds like LeBron is bored again, despite the strong second half and the win.

You know what would be great for this team? Same thing that would’ve been great the past two years – a new coach.

Moving on…as you may remember/know/dream about, we left Los Angeles back on December 10th, drove across the country to Cleveland, indoctrinated a couple readers in the League of Roundie Henchmen, drove to Chicago to spend time with the family, then drive back to Los Angeles, arriving here on January 1st.

That’s 3 full weeks away, and we learned much about the world and such – most of all, it really reminded us how much we hate LA. If the movie business were only based in a Midwest suburb somewhere.

Anyway, here we go:

1) Sara worked the front desk at our hotel in Ohio. We were instantly smitten with her, and she instantly thought we were some kind of scumbag from Los Angeles. Over the course of the week, we learned one of the great things about hitting on romantically courting hotel front desk girls – they can’t go anywhere and they have to at the very least smile continually.

By the end of the week, Sara had invited us to her company Christmas party, although we have idea if she was being sarcastic or not. Regardless, we weren’t going to be there anymore. Perhaps she knew this, or perhaps we were in love with each other. One day we’ll attempt to find out.

A side note: we borrowed the tape dispenser from the hotel and never gave it back. We asked them if we’ll always be remembered as, “That Guy Who Stole the Tape Dispenser,” only to be told we’d be remembered anyway. Click on to read more -

[click to continue…]

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Kevin DurantWe forgot to mention one thing in the NBA post below…the Celtics. Yeah, they’re really good. We get it.

(Boston professional sports teams have lost 3 times total in like the past three months or something – has there ever been anything like this? What can they possibly be complaining about?)

Anyway, here we go –

Section A of Part 2 – Who Shot Mamba?

Surely you all understand and realize it’s real, at this point. The first teaser hasn’t been “officially” released – but the link is there for those who want to watch over and over and over again. (Click the banner in the left column.)

We’ll be answering no questions about the film until the promotional period officially begins. NBA/sports bloggers – you’re welcome and encouraged to gravy train this – email us at yaysports@gmail.com to find out what you can do.

PS – The whining can stop now, yes?

(btw that last shot was indeed, as you’ll see in the film, the most masculine day of our entire life.)

Section B of Part 2 – YAYsports! NBA

“Dear lord” is all we can say – when we were able to check in over the past few weeks, all we saw was people getting mad at each other. Let’s be frank, because it’s the only way we know how to be.

1) With the Blog Suicide a complete success, we’re officially, as of today, on a mission to rebuild the readership. The schedule is a bit more free, and that which sprang WSM? should be at full strength when its child is brought forth.

Redesign will be coming, as will re-attachments to old favorites – it’s only fair that those who find WSM? as a wholly new experience learn where things like Mamba and The Orange Roundie came from.

2) Thank you to the subs, and as you know, you’re welcome to continue. There are big times and exposures ahead, and we welcome you to come along for the ride. Plus, since we don’t know anything about the NBA anymore, we’ll need something to write about – ie whatever you write about.

Finally, someone will need to take the handlebars when we go away forever.

2a) Boney and Jack Cobra. It’s come to our attention that you don’t care for each other. Here are two solutions:

* Boney – when you see a Jack Cobra post, don’t read it.
* Jack – when you see a Boney comment, go ahead and rip him for it. It’s all in good fun.

2b) Jordi and the Association of Dating Age Collegiate Jews -thank you and by all means continue. We’re all family now.

3) What becomes of YAYsports! NBA in a post-WSM? world?

We don’t know for sure, but we do know that in a post-WSM? world, we shall assume our rightful place as the Greatest NBA Blogger of All-Time.

After such declaration is made, we will never blog about the NBA again, and our name will be spoken only in hushed tones, for its power and grandeur will evoke emotion so vibrant and alive, that even the most soulful and deep beings on Earth will be rendered incapable of movement and/or speech.

And nobody wants to deal with that while driving or trying to work.

Part 3 later – where we give thanks to Sara, Susie, and Mandy for giving our life and travels meaning. Where Hot Sauce gets his due. And where Brooke gets eviscerated for refusing to slow dance with us.

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merri-sherman.jpgOkay. We’re back.

Today, we’ll be kinda washing the decks of the site’s content and taking a look back at the last three weeks. The YAYsports! NBA Experience was pretty…interesting, we’re sure.

We were only able to check in periodically – each time we did, it seemed as if someone was complaining about someone else. Whatever – after our recap, let’s all agree to move ahead.

Part 1 of the Blog Resurrection shall entail a look at everything we know about the NBA – that’ll happen here in about two sentences, and will probably last three or four sentences, tops.

Part 2 will be a look at WSM? and the future of YAYsports! NBA.

In Part 3, which is easily the best part, we’ll go into our 3-week long excursion, during which time we drove from Los Angeles to Cleveland to Chicago, and back to Los Angeles. We’ll go into detail about such things as drinking Red Bull for the 1st (and 500th) time, making readers into Roundie Henchmen, relentlessly hitting on the girl who works the hotel desk, and why Claremore, Oklahoma is the most fun place on Earth.

Here we go – NBA Action, in which we ask you to answer some questions and curiosities for us:

a) The Lakers and their short shorts aren’t nearly as shocking as the Jazz not being any good. What’s the story on the latter? (btw those shorts would’ve given us a week of material back in the day. What if that had happened during the tights era?)

b) The Bulls fired Scott Skiles – we were in Chicago during this, and sports radio was ripping John Paxson to shreds. Also, is Ben Wallace fat or soemthing? We could swear we read something alluding to this somewhere.

c) The Cavaliers left us cold when we watched them Christmas Day. Amazing that Coach Mike is still there – even more amazing than Isiah Thomas still being in NYC.

d) We’re going to attempt to watch at least one of the 3 nationally televised games weekly from hereon. This, combined with the ongoing efforts of the subs, will ensure continual, and actual, NBA coverage.

Okay, well that was boring. Please keep in mind that we haven’t blogged for three weeks, and also that we don’t even like the NBA anymore. We’ll be back in a few – we desperately need to get the salt washed off the car asap.

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Okay…we’re done with leg one of our December journey.

What this means is we’ve been able to read back through the past week or so, and even made sure we set aside time to have one of those “look in the mirror and wonder what you’ve done” moments.

We’re not going to sit here and call people out publically, but let’s go ahead and allude to a bunch of stuff.

Nobody is sitting here saying we asked the subs to come in and run Ford Motor Company or something, but y’know what? We worked pretty hard on this site for a year and a half to get it where it was.

Since then, we’ve worked even harder on a project that found its genesis in this site.

During that time, several people (Jack Cobra, Jordi, The Tar Heel, the AZ Collegiate Jewish Coalition, and Boney) stepped up to help us out.

(We like to think they did this because they liked the site (or at least the spirit of what it once was), wanted to support the other thing, and Zeus forbid, it might be fun.)

What we didn’t think is anyone would go all diva on the on the others – really, it’s sorta ridiculous. This was supposed to be a team effort in support of the site, not some kind of, “who can draw the most attention to themselves and incite the most assinine-ness.”

We laid the hammer down on that. Unfortunately, we can’t be back at it fully until after the first – no PS action where we are right now.

In the meantime, Jordi/Jack/Jews are ready to go, and we thank them for that. One day you’ll be rewarded for that in some way, shape, or form.

NOBODY IS BIGGER THAN YAYsports! EXCEPT FOR THE CHARISMATIC SNAKE.

FIVE DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.

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(UPDATE: We’ve just done something horrible. You’ll know about it soon enough.)

We’re bringing in the substitute teachers – it’s official. Right now it’s Jordi and Jack Cobra, of their respective sites, which we expect them to link to in great abundance.

One more sub would be great – volunteer your services to yaysports@gmail.com, and expect a brutal critique. If you email something like, “Hey man I’ll do it I’m funny man,” we will not even answer you with a snide comeback.

We hit the road Tuesday and will be “on the road perpetually through about 01/03/08, if our guessing is being done correctly.

We’ll check in here when we can and maybe post a “hello” here and there – especially there.

Be well – have a happy holiday – be a loyal Roundie Henchmen. Ohio people – don’t forget – Dec 17th and 18th WE NEED YOU. This is your chance to be a part of history. Email for details.

PS Jordi and Jack know where your Christmas present is.

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Kevin Garnett

Isn’t it a little early for this?

C’mon, we’re as intrigued (well, probably not actually) as the next person about how good the Celtics really are, but ESPN is either borderline insane or just fishing for headlines.

Twelve years ago, the Chicago Bulls set a standard of success that many think will never be matched: 72-10 in the regular season. Almost a perfect season.

Well, now we have another fast-starting team, and so far they are running with the Bulls. The Boston Celtics are on pace to surpass the Bulls’ 72 wins and become the second team to win 70 in a season.

Bookmark this page and return after each Celtics game to mark their progress.

They’ve won seven games. SEVEN.

We know a professional Boston sports franchise hasn’t lost in like 6 weeks* or something, but let’s not go placing crowns on people’s heads before the time is due. Can we at least get out of November first?

Oh, and as for us – yeah, we’ve been busy. Sorry about that. It’s probably going to be like this for the next 3 weeks or so, but you’ve got a holiday in there and stuff, so like you shouldn’t expect posts, anyway.

Actually, we may post all day on Thanksgiving just for fun.

* Our BOS friend even said the Bruins don’t count.

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LeBron James is bored

by The Cavalier on November 1, 2007 · 25 comments

On this, the official 2000th post of this YAYsports! NBA, we feel the need to make a list. But first, allow us to post a classic from the archives. (We’ll be doing this periodically for the next month or so – it’s important stuff, so study up.)

tony parker 4

We hope you enjoyed that, because it gets ugly from here. REAL ugly.

Back to that celebratory 2000th post list. This list will encompass but one item, and it shall be of a current event, rather than one of historical significance.

The YAYsports! NBA List of Best Things We Didn’t Purchase in the Past Week-To-Ten Days

1) NBA League Pass

Yeah, we watched, then after the first half, occasionally glanced at the Cavaliers getting blown out by the Mavs last night, and it confirmed everything we’ve thought for well over a year now.

This team has no heart, no drive, and no soul. Deciding not to watch all of their games this season is already the best decision we’ve made, as stated, in the past week to ten days.

They play like they’ve got a built in excuse of “everyone thinks we’re going to suck, so if we do, it’s like okay for some strange reason”.

The team hits its Western road trip right here in the first two weeks of the season, so combine that with “preseason China trip” and “our foreign role players didn’t come to camp”…you’ve got a nice 2-8 record to start the season or something.

Then there’s the topper – continually stating there’s no excuses, which is like using all your excuses without saying it explicitly.

”We didn’t do anything right, we didn’t play hard and we didn’t execute,” James said. ”It’s the first game; hopefully we can put it behind us.”

Coach Mike, blah blah blah…haven’t we written this post 400 times out of 2000 posts? (In all fairness, we didn’t write all of those posts – Jack Cobra, Jordi, and SML, and possibly others chipped in as well.)

Speaking of Jack (#56) and Jordi (#26), they’re both counted among the 100 Most Influential Sports Bloggers, compiled by this blog that’s been in existence since August.

Becky can confirm we’ve felt this way for some time, but this whole sports blog world is so incestuous and bizarre and…not to use a word we never use…icky.

No, we’re not knocking it because we’re not on the list, although we always fly under the radar on these things. Maybe it’s because we’re such an elitist jerk about knocking on the whole sportsblogging world. Maybe it’s because if you’re starting a sportsblog you better have something unique or different to bring to the table.

Maybe it’s because starting a blogspot blog, writing 3 posts, then emailing Deadspin 14 times a day asking for links is pathetic. Who knows?

Aren’t we cheery this morning? We better find something else to write about real quick-like, because the NBA isn’t gonna do it for us anymore.

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We’re sure both of you are waiting for us to get back to NBA news and humor, but with Ohio State at #1, the Indians coming of a monster win in the City of Boston, and even the BROWNS winning lasterday, LeBron and crew traveling around China isn’t all that commentary-ific for us.

(Yes, there are other teams in the NBA, but let’s face it…the state of the site makes it hard to pop out a post about Clippers rookie Al Thornton’s nice performance against the Warriors.)

So yeah – the Indians are back in CLE to begin the 3-game decimation of the City of Boston Red Socks that will result in a wonderful trip to the World Series, where they’ll likely face the Colorado Rockies.

We have nothing bad to say about that team, except that it’s eerily familiar of…1997. That’s when the Tribe went to the WS against another expansion team, the Marlins, and handed them their first title. (Yes, we still consider COL an expansion team.)

Now, many of you will tell us that we really shouldn’t look past the City of Boston Red Socks, but we really like to, because we hate them and all of the silly people that live in or around their city.

That’s all we’ve got time for here – tons to do, since the game starts at 4 out here on the West Coast. Enjoy your day, and please – enjoy your day.

NOTE: We’ve gotten emails from both of you asking where our team previews are, and we can say only this. We don’t feel like doing them. GOOD DAY.

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