Couple quick things – Dan Gilbert, we hope you’re reading today. We’ve received more email about the Cavaliers in the past 12 hours than we have since the Washington series last year.
Every single one of them is angry, and many claim to be giving up on watching them at all. The general concensus is that if they were 0-42 but gave 100% every night, nobody would have a problem.
We think our favorite thing is that “Coach Mike” seems to have taken hold. Anyway, this one is from our Mommy. Yes, we’re going there – if she’s mad at you, then there’s a really a problem, ’cause she’s (this is objective and provable with charts/graphs) like the nicest lady ever.
ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
I can’t believe we wasted another evening watching them…
Lebron should just sit on the bench….he’s annoying.
Shouldn’t a guy making the obnoxious money he’s making be able to make his free throws?
That kissing thing is gay…
Coach Mike should just stay in the locker room…serves no purpose.
I like Daniel Gibson…
Pollard should not be permitted to even DRESS until he shaves his head and his face – it’s embarrassing…
They just don’t seem to care about winning…
That’s my detailed synopsis of the stupid Cavaliers…
How’re you feeling today?
The great thing about our Mom is she’s eternally young, and says things like “That kissing thing is gay…”
Anyway, in answer to the most important question, we have no idea how we’re feeling. Two days ago we were dying. Yesterday morning we got up at about 98%, went to the gym, put in a day of work, then about 7pm started to feel like crap again.
This morning we’re sitting at about 70%, so we have no idea what’s going on.
The lovely and charming Miss Gossip sent over that bowl of marshmallow soup for us, although later informed us those are actually “echinacea wontons”, which haven’t even been invented yet.
Regardless, we printed it out and ate it, so we’ll see where our traitorous vessel takes us from here. Thank you for your support – according to LowPost DOT NET, our illness is the biggest NBA story of the year.
(We’d recommend you follow that link over the NBA Fanhouse to read Miss Gossip’s writings, but there are currently 432 new posts since 6am.)
Not many people expected the Celtics to beat the Lakers last night, as the home team was riding an awesome 12-game losing streak, as well as declarations from Danny Ainge that Coach Doc wasn’t getting fired anytime soon.
So yeah, it went as planned – the Lakers took down the team known as BOS, and did so in relatively easy fashion.
What wasn’t planned, nor expected, was to hear the Boston crowd cheering for a Los Angeles Laker. As Kobe put up a solid 43 points (+8 reb/8 asst), the people started up “MVP” and “Kobe” chants.
Is this the all-time low point for the franchise? We asked ourself, and this is what we came back with.
YES.
Brief and to the point, while still straying from a generic form answer.
Are we the greatest basketball mind of this age? Perhaps. Perhaps not. It’s not really up to us to decide such things – we leave that to the people – the commenters such as Boney and Tony Parker, who have odd, internet man-crushes on us.
As for the Lakers and Celtics, they are truly two teams going in different directions.
One up, one down.
Purple, gold, green, a blemish.
In time, the tides, and then, the sun.
One time. One time.
Over the river and through the woods,
One time.
Again.
That’s poetry, kid. That’s talent. Talent that perhaps outweighs out basketball analytical skills. You’ve witnessed the birth, and thus the legend does grow.
GO PISTONS!
Last night was fun and all, but tonight, with a complete 13-game schedule, the NBA is really set to thunder forward into action.
Many a thing to watch, and perhaps one of the most interesting ongoing stories will be everything and anything happening with the Seattle Sonics.
Quick recap – there’s a new ownership group made up of Oklahoma City businessmen, who everyone is 99% are planning to move the team to the OKC, while at the same time pretending they’re trying to work out an arena deal in Seattle.
Anyway, the OKC contingent became legit last week, and because of that, All-Star forward Rashard Lewis has pulled out of any attempt to negotiate a contract extension. Thus, he can become an unrestricted free agent next summer.
“We’re saying that right now, we don’t want to do an extension and we want to focus on the season,” [Lewis's agent, Kevin] Poston said. “There’s so many rumors, and not just with the team and the Seattle and the Oklahoma City thing, but rumors about the NBA in general. We just want to concentrate on the season and see how everything unfolds.
[Lewis himself]: “…you don’t know how the new ownership thinks about you or what they’re going to do. One thing about the old owners, I knew where I stood with them. I was comfortable with them because they watched me grow. Now, everything has changed.”
Our main question at this juncture is how badly new ownership face Clay Bennett is going to get booed if he shows said ownership face at a Sonics game.
This group is clearly lying to the fanbase, and now they’ve set up a situation where one of the team’s stars is disgruntled and (likely) distracted by having to inevitably talk about this every time a reporter shows up.
The winners here are teams looking for a good running mate for their star player, because there’s no doubt Seattle has to move Rashard rather than lose him for nothing.
We’d offer up the Cavaliers, but we don’t want to insult Larry Hughes or seem like we favor the Cavaliers in any way. Our goal, as always intended and always accomplished, is to remain nonbiased.
(Is it just us or does Clay Bennett always look like he’s on the verge of a heart attack, or at least a collapse of some sort?)
With the news that the guys who wrote Game of Shadows (the Barry Bonds book) are going to jail for not revealing sources, we can’t help but feel a bit distraught.
Perhaps even frightened, scared, or “in a state of discomfort”.
You see, as we alluded to earlier this week, we’ve embarked on a trip down the dangerous path of dark journalism, as well.
Namely, RajaBell.com. What’s going on with it? Why the mysterious resetting countdown clock? When will it be unveiled? Why is Raja glowing on this placeholder page? Has he consumed the orange roundie?
This has been going on since April, for Zeus’s sake! No more, we say. This is the technical contact for the site:
Rosa, Anthony
Global Sports & Entertainment Agency
313 State St., Suite 713
Perth Amboy, New Jersey 08861
732/324-0077 ext 110
arosa@gspn.net
Go now, our legion of brave warriors! Bombard this man with your Raja Bell DOT COM queries! We’d suggest something along the lines of the following:
Hey Tony,
Are you in the mafia? I love Raja Bell! When’s his website launch, DUDE!? CHOO-CHOO!!!!
Your friend,
(insert your name here)
Feel free to indentify yourself as working for YAYsports! as an investigative reporter and/or private eye. No wait – say you’re a private eye – that’s way better.
He can ignore our emails, he can blow off our phone calls, he can dodge us until we give up – but he can’t stop an army. We have a right to know when we’ll see the personal musings and photographs of Choo-Choo Bell, damn it.
You hear that, Tony? We’re going to keep coming at you until you either give us a date, a reason, or we get bored.
As if having star big man Pau! Gasol’s electric switched off for the beginning of the season isn’t bad enough for the Memphis Grizzlies, now it’s comes to light the organization is in a bad way with its electric.
We may or may not have mentioned this in this past, but the team put together a group of season ticket holders to serve as some sort of advisory board to help guide the game attending experience into a state of Memphisonian bliss.
The first meeting was held the other day, and it looks like they fans have caught on to some of the Griz’s cost-cutting measures and/or general ineptitudes.
“We failed at general concessions, I think everybody is going to agree,” said Andy Dolich, Grizzlies president of business operations.
“The hot stuff should be hot, the cold stuff should be cold, and it should be served” — with a snap of his fingers — like that. And we have to get that right.”
If everyone in food service can get that adamant finger-snapping thing down, everything should be okay then, yes? That and a little info card in the concession stands that says “1) Put hot dogs on rolly thingie. 2) Leave them there”.
One would think so, but we wonder if the team should perhaps be concentrating on the aforementioned electrical power forward by the name of Pau!, because he’s telling Spanish news outlets that he may want to leave. (Thanks to HoopsHype for the translation.)
“I think about my situation a lot of times. Years pass. I’m very thankful to the Grizzlies because they’ve always trusted in me and gave me the chance to succeed in the NBA, but I would like to be in a position to fight for the title. And that’s not happening in Memphis. If we don’t improve, a change is possible”.
Now, we don’t want to jump to conclusions and spread rumors, but at the same time we do.
Z, Varejao, and (pick a Luke Jackson/Sasha Pavlovic) for Pau! Gasol. The best thing about that trade is it’s terrible for Memphis and great for Cleveland. This could totally be pulled off, but Danny Ferry needs to broach the subject now, while the Grizzlies are still lost in a sea of undercooked hot dogs.
We’re of two minds about going to Lakers message boards.
On the one hand, you can go there and be fully assaulted for posting a simple message like “Kobe Bryant missed a shot once”.
The other hand is thus: boards like Lakersground.net are invaluable resources of Kobe and/or Laker news. Somehow these people know what Kobe has for breakfast before the man himself wakes up in the morning.
Anyway, apparently #24 was on Dan Patrick’s radio show yesterday, and as usual, one of the obsessives enthusiastic fans at ClubLakers.com typed out a transcript of what went down.
There’s some mildly interesting and harmless stuff in there, although that doesn’t stop the Laker fans from nearly threatening death upon Dan Patrick for…nothing, basically. Alas, some snippets.
Dan: Who were you sideing with in the fued with Donovon & T.O.?
Kobe: I stay away from that i don’t know, but it sucks that TO is not there, but im a Eagles fan
Dan: Was that tough for you to see T.O. leave to the hated Cowboys?
Kobe: T.O. is one of my good friends and he’s a Cowboy now, it sucks wish he was here.
Dan: How do you look at this Laker team this year than last?
Kobe: This year we got the players we needed, the key players, like Maurice Evans, Vlad. We got the players we needed to sorround us. Alot of people wanted that big blockbuster trade………
Dan: You mean the Keven Garnett?
Kobe: Alot of that rumors were all over LA that we were gonna land KG in a big deal, but those rumors were all over the internet and at supermarkets.
As most of you know by now, we found ourselves residents of Team Kobe sometime around the middle of last season. This after years as members of Team Not Kobe.
That said, we do need to take him to task on this whole “everyone at the grocery store was talking about KG” thing. It’s simply not true. Granted, 95% of the people at our local market don’t speak English, but only once did we hear Jose and Rico going “habla habla habla Kay-Gee habla habla. Ko-Bee habla!”
Also touched on in there is the fact that we were right (again), and Kobe’s “Team USA chemistry” comments were taken completely out of context.
Other than that, the only thing of note was Kobe’s friendship with T.O., just because. (And we say it like that only because we don’t even know what’s weird about it. It’s just not something we never thought about.)
Now, on to important business. Word on the street is there’s at least one new pro basketball preview on the stands (Lindy’s), which means it’s our favorite time of the year: the week we spend a bunch of money on overpriced magazines we never get around to actually reading.
While looking at all the pictures of Spain welcoming home their gold medal winning World Championship team, we came to the realization we don’t really care about international basketball all that much.
We can’t imagine such a celebration taking place here in the US if our guys had won – does anyone even think such a thing would take place?
Beside the fact it would’ve felt like more of a relief if they’d brought home gold, the fact is thus – we care about the NBA, and not much else. Is it unpatriotic? Is it a Gen-X/Y thing?
To round it back to our initial point – who cares what it is? Anyway, one organization we tend to think is right along with us on this is the Memphis Grizzlies, who now have to deal with a Pau!-less existence for three months, thanks to his broken foot sustained in the WCOB.
Griz owner Michael Heisley gets diplomatic.
“I don’t know what you can do. It does no good to rant and rave about it,” Heisley said, adding that he still is disappointed. “It’s part of the breaks of the game. I’m sure Jerry and Mike are bitterly disappointed. Pau is extremely important to our team as he is to Spain. It’s just a terrible break.
“Injury is what everybody is concerned about with players signed to huge contracts and guys playing in international tournaments,” Heisley said. “Lebron James or Carmelo Anthony or Dwyane Wade could have gotten injured also. You have to take a hard look at it if you’re the owner because you’re taking all the risks.”
Allow us to translate that for you.
What he’s saying there is “Fuck! I’m really upset and distraught at this time!”
Granted, this is a man who owns a professional sports team, so how bad can his life be? If the worst thing he has to do all day is pout about his broken Spaniard, that ain’t all that bad.
Hell, he could be spending his time making movies with Alf and cereal boxes, right? (Just to clarify for the mal-intelligenced among you, that’s not actual footage from Who Shot Mamba?. We can use made-up words like that with you mal-intelligenced types, because you’ll just assume it’s real. Neat, huh?)
Don’t forget – you can get your “PAU!” shirts now at the YAYsports! Store of Purchasable Merchandise.
Here’s Chris Sheridan’s report from day 1 of Team USA practice, wherein you will learn once again why Gilbert Arenas is awesome.
Also, NBA Live 07 is gearing up, and IGN has a look at the production of said game – here’s a screenshot.
That’s about all that’s going on – we need to track down some prop guns this morning for the shoot, so we’re off. To keep you satisfied, you can read these comments that were left last night on this old post.
In said EXPLOSIONS, we linked to that Steve Nash video blog, which we ripped on pretty badly. Well, guess who found it?
I would like to congratulate and thank you for finding my Steve Nash video blog and ripping it. I will be making more of them just to make The Cavalier even more mad.
But you are right, I was being lazy. This thing could have been a lot better. I will take some money out of my savings and take out a loan or 2 to improve the production value of all future Steve Nash video blogs. I’m going to go to Kinko’s later to work on a business plan as well. I think this thing could go worldwide or even…dare I say…nationwide.
If you want to produce them and pay me though, maybe we can work out a deal since you guys are really good. I’ll only sell to Yay though, not TBJ. I hate him, even though I’ve never read his site.
No problem – we’ll be happy to give you a large production budget for more of those. Just sit tight – we’ll meet you at Kinkos. Now, about an hour after that, two more comments were left by a “Gorgeous George”. Different ip, but could it be a friend or relative? Regardless, these are great.
Wow great links to other sides guys, you are really orginal, also you guys have a Britney spears parody, your guys is material is like 3 minutes of laughs packed into 15 minutes, Also I love people who are arrogant on the internet because it usually means they are making up for the fact that they come up short in real life, like you guys could ever play hoops, why don’t you guys just hurry up and die of AIDS or something?
Now look here, friend, you can’t just rush AIDS like that. It has to take its own time. You might also look up the word “parody” in the dictionary. “Gorgeous” wasn’t done, however. His rage was so mighty that within five minutes he continued his quest to get us to die of a deadly STD.
Oh yea, you guys rip on britney and she has fell off, but like you could get any chick dudes, seriously you guys its obvious by your arrogant blog against womens looks that you are concieted from the fact that you get no chicks, people who are sports writers (or wannabes on your level) are people who couldn’t do on any level, you guys suck at life, just deal with it, now excuse me I have real life stuff to do, also please continue on your path of dying of AIDS quickly you complete and utter pieces of rabbie infested shits.
Well, we can’t argue with any of that except that “britney” should be capitalized and we’re not sure what a “rabbie” is, but if we’re infested with them it’s good we now know.
Thanks to the heroes over at The Beautiful Lie (which is finally up and running), here’s the reaction to Renaldo from inside the NYC Draft night crowd. To put it in context, they’re Nets fans.
We must know – how did everyone react when you were cheering the Renaldo pick?
What can we say about the Mavs?
They’re fine. They’re excellent. They’ll probably be back in the Finals next year.
Who knows if they’ll make big changes? Hopefully not, because they don’t need to.
Now their fans? We’re not sure what becomes of them. This is only a small sampling, but those who aren’t complaining simply “want to die”, according to our comments section from last night.
“If we believe that the last great conspiracy theory in Dallas was JFK’s death, the second greatest conspiracy theory was that David Stern wanted the Miami Heat to win the championship,” said Mavericks fan George Graffy, 41.
“I paid $1,200 for these tickets, and we did not win,” said Ashleigh Adams.
“We got the coach. We got the team. We wanted it all this year, though,” said Korby Keene. “The Heat aren’t that good. The refs gave them the game.”
Look, we sympathize with you people, especially Ashleigh, who’s so crushed she can only state simple facts in brief sentences.
That said, the refs didn’t make your Mavs shoot 800 jumpshots to every drive to the hoop. The refs didn’t make Dirk forget how far he’d come and how he got there, ie playing more inside, less out. That’s all there is to it – Wade was too good, you guys weren’t good enough.
Were you the technically better team on paper? Probably, but even Toine and Zo clearly wanted it more than you last night. That’s all anyone will remember, so start living that way ASAP – it’ll be healthier than playing endless rounds of “But If Stack Hadn’t Been” all summer.
Now, we’re sorry this was up kinda late, but we’re working hard on our little project and putting in countless hours on the Stairmaster while doing interviews on national television.
And what was up with Josh Howard dropping his shorts? Who puts an ACE bandage around their waist anyway?
As long as we’re talking Mavs, we love how Stu Scott played up Marquis Daniels’s Biblical tattoos last night and left out his ones about murdering people, among these others, which total 27!
The tattoos range from an extremely detailed map of Florida that covers his entire back, a disturbing caricature of a man blowing his head with a shotgun on his lower right arm, and Chinese characters on his other arm which was apparently intended to represent his initials, but when translated into English, it actually reads “healthy woman roof”.
We get the “healthy woman roof” one, although we’d get that kind of nonsense on purpose, just to see people’s reactions.
(Best tattoo we never got in college – a maze on our shoulder, which to this day we insist would’ve made the greatest chick-picker-upper ever. At least when we were 20 – now it would likely just bring odd looks.)
