Dirk’s $5,000 fine may not be all he’s looking at when it comes to repurcussions from that ball he kicked into the stands after Game 5.
Michael Alan, a 63-year old Miami fan, says the ball hit him in the side of the head, and he’s been suffering from headaches ever since. He’s considering calling a lawyer if someone doesn’t give him money apologize.
Alan — who said he suffers from heart disease and emphysema — said he was rising from his seat when “out of nowhere, a ball hit me. It’s like a mule hit me. It knocked me down into my chair. I got a headache right away and my head was vibrating.”
His wife, Rosie, said, “It was hilarious how ridiculously hard it was kicked. My husband has a lot of health conditions. He doesn’t need this.”
Alan and his wife said they did not know Nowitzki had kicked the ball until they returned home from the game and turned on the television. ‘I told my wife, `That’s the ball that hit me!’ ” he said.
Not that we don’t sympathize, but how can the man be sure those headaches aren’t from that mule kicking him in the side of the head? He clearly knows exactly what that feels like.
Besides that, his own wife admits to the situation being “hilarious”, which it is. Somebody find tape of this. (See if you can get the opposite angle on the Josh Howard time-out, too.)
If all that isn’t enough, the best is how after seeing the news he finally realized the ball had come from the court. Just how many basketballs are shooting around the upper deck of Miami’s arena?
Thanks to reader Ryan for tipping us off to the cool dudes and ladies at Miami’s 790 the Ticket, who are hooking up the good people of South Beach with the thing to your left.
Here are your instructions if you’re holding a David Hasselhoff Fan Face, according to the station.
Dallas Maverick’s All-Star Dirk Nowitzki is a fan
(not a Face Fan, but a Hasselhoff Fan).
In fact, Dirk hums Hasselhoff music to himself while on the free-throw line.
(What? You didn’t know David Hasselhoff made music? Well, he does, and German people love it. They also love sauerkraut, so what does that tell you?)
We figure that maybe if you wave these face fans at Dirk (especially while he’s on the free-throw line), he’ll become so excited about Hasselhoff, he’ll miss his shot.
(It may be a stretch, but if you waved Lindsay Lohan at us, we’d get a little jittery).
So work on Dirk, wave your Hasselhoff…who knows, you may be helping the Heat win a championship.
We’re not sure we understand. Are they mocking David Hasselhoff? Is there something funny about the man? In all honesty, after watching the Looking For Freedom video yesterday, we were obviously reminded of Knight Rider, Baywatch, and the classic Hooked on a Feeling video, which is below and we’ve shown here before.
The fully realized truth is we love everything the man does. Not in like a kitchy way, either.
We think we watched that for an hour straight once. We do have a lot of German in our blood, so there you go.
UPDATE: These are for Game 4 we’ve been told. Big mistake – you need everything you can get tonight!
Much has been made of the Boston Celtics new dance team, and that it goes against tradition, and the team was unique for not having one, etc blah blah etc blah.
Well, tryouts have officially begun, and the turnout has been huge. Now nobody knows what to think.
Yes, Doc and everyone else must be rethinking their thinking thoughts, as the eager young ladies all vie for a chance to be a Celtics Dancer.
“I thought there was going to be about 30 girls here,” 18-year-old Brianne Hoey said. “I was fighting with my mom this morning about getting here so early.”
“Work your props and booty,” Gonzalez instructed, speaking in time with the tempo. “Show me some S-E-X. Be sexy.”
Surely Boston fans are still gearing up to boo little 18-year old Brianne in her little clothes shaking her ass at them while she’s thinking about sex. No worries there – stand by thy principles.
By the way, what exactly are her “props”? Is that just another word for “overall goods” or “boobs”, or is it a specific bodypart? We only ask because if it was “overall goods”, why did he then mention Brianne’s “booty” specifically?
Click to engorge to biggerishMaybe we’re more ADD than we thought, because we watched the whole Suns-Mavs game last night, and completely missed this incident where Mark Cuban went into the stands after some fans.
Mavericks owner Mark Cuban and reserve center DJ Mbenga, who was inactive and in street clothes for Game 4, entered the stands late in the first quarter after Cassandra Johnson, wife of Mavs coach Avery Johnson, got into a dispute with two Suns fans.
A misdemeanor assault complaint was reportedly later filed by the fans against Johnson for allegedly shoving and swearing at them.
The only thing we know about DJ Mbenga is he’s the guy who cracked LeBron during the regular season and he also has a hit mix album that’s running through the underground club scene right now.
Nobody knows if Cuban is gonna get fined or what, but our best guess would be “fuck yes he will be”.
Thank god the PHXers won last night – can you imagine if the Mavs were facing an opportunity to advance to the Finals in Game 5 and Cuban wasn’t allowed in the arena? That event may have seen the honest formation of the real Ranger Corps, cause there’s no way Mark and his new belly are missing that celebration.
We love the dude, but just what has he been eating lately? He’s gotten bigger lately, yes? True or false – it’s an easy question – we’re now opening that for discussion on AOL IM. Join the other 11 people we’re now chatting with!
Biggest game in Cleveland Cavaliers history?
Probably.
While the ’93 win over the Celtics in Game 7 was great, there was no way that team was ever going to win it all, that year or any year thereafter.
What’s happening now is different, and the game’s involvement in The Official LeBron James Saga makes it bigger than just Detroit and Cleveland as participating cities.
Whatever the case, Larry Hughes will on hand to see it in person.
[Cavs coach Mike] Brown said it was not clear if Hughes would dress for the game or just be on hand to support his teammates. Brown was certain he would not start Hughes.
“It wouldn’t be fair to put him in after missing a week of basketball,” Brown said. “We’ve made some changes in what we’re doing offensively and defensively. I don’t have any concerns about him dressing or not.”
we’re not sure where we stand on it. There’s a certain “don’t mess with what’s working” quality here, although that goes right along side the (possibly offensive for its exploitation) “put him in for a minute to put more emotion in the crowd” quality.
Now, those factors aside, Larry never really had found his groove since coing back from the finger injury, and if you really want brutal honesty, he was killing them on the offensive end. Add in the death of his brother, and we can’t see him being too helpful on the basketball end of things.
The bottom line?
Could be a huge evening for the franchise, the city, and any people looking to get laid. With the Indians playing right next door tonight, anyone wearing a LeBron jersey, whether they’re actually him or not, will be on the receiving end of a lot of drunk hugs when this goes down.
And it is going down, no matter how scared ESPN’s Chris Sheridan says everyone is.
While waiting for the Cavs to start and trying to avoid cleaning, we ended up at ESPN.com, which is pushing all sorts of different “put yourself on ESPN or ESPN.com” type of things right now.
Our favorite of these is this Stephen A’s Voice of the Fan, which invites you to (their words) scream at Stephen A Smith, or virtual Stephen A Smith, as he’s represented above.
You have a few options, including recording your own voice via phone. We don’t know why anyone would go to quite that length to do this, and we prefer allowing the British computer voice of “Simon” read some adapted lyrics to “The Crepes Are in the Oven.”
When I roll with my boy Tee Dee to the Eiffel Tower and its like that! The crepes are in the oven! The crepes are in the oven! Yeah! The crepes are in the oven mo fo!
The best is the way the computer recognizes the “Yeah!” It makes it really casual and laid back.
While you’re welcome to do so, you need not recreate our customized balding, mustached wimp who’s freezing to death.
If nothing else, having virtual Stephen A follow your mouse movements with his virtual eyes is at least 13 seconds of soild entertainment.
His name’s Jake, he’s seven years old, he’s the next big thing in Detroit, and he’s calling a sweep.
At what point does this not become okay, dad? If this kid’s doing this at nine or ten, are you sitting there laughing it up? What if he’s eighteen and he’s still standing on the chair, shirtless and rubbing his stomach?
(Thanks to the lovely and charming Tiffany for the tip.)
It’s just like being there!
It’s just like being there, we said! You say it, now. Sorry, we love to watch people scream.
You could feel the tension in Detroit last night from all the way here in Los Angeles. Could the Pistons possibly succeed in their quest to send Milwaukee home?
It was close, but through determination and an all-business attitude, Detroit referred to the Bucks as sausage and earned itself a few days off to watch Cavs-Wizards, the winner of which will have the honor of being decimated next.
The only thing that can stop them now is their unpredicatable reaction to the devastating news that assistant Sidney Lowe is leaving to coach NC State, or this kid, who was dancing in the crowd in the fourth quarter.
If we didn’t think it’d land us in jail, we’d even say he was dancing provocatively. Whatever it was, it was disturbing as all hell.
Where are your parents, and do they make you be like this at home?
