Portions are excerpted below – you can read the whole thing at the link in the previous sentence.
Dear “The Cavalierâ€Â,
Over the course of the last 2 NBA seasons and the 2005 NBA Eastern Conference Semis we have grown fond of your little website, and at times, we have become jealous that we are not as witty or clever as you are…
You see, Cav… we can call you Cav right? You have devoted your full attention to making a movie that has been hyped more we think than any of the recent Tom Cruise movie releases…[Cav note: This is blatantly untrue!]
Now we know it must be hard to lead a hollywood [sic] lifestyle and all, but over the course of the last year you have begun to push us all away…
We are not alone in making the following demand:
“Come back, or else.â€Â
…it’s just that Cav, we know the type of game you bring to the table. Unlike LeBron, there’s no worry about you not bringing your “A†game to the table. When you’re on, you’re among the best…. and over the last year, you haven’t been on and it’s a shame.
We had a whole long response to this written, but we just deleted it.
Look, do you want to watch your favorite comedians tell the same jokes for 3 straight years, or do want to see them EVOLVE? We did Photoshop – we did “witty commentary” – why continue? We proved everything we can there. We’re taking things up 10 levels. 100 levels. INFINITY levels. And then we’re leaving the internet FOREVER, so our aspirations and will no longer trouble you so.
We set out to do something, then we went and did it, and you’ll get to see it. (FOR FREE. COMPLAIN ABOUT THAT.)
Those of you who remain, thank you for your patience. Those of you who don’t, see you in crow-eating room at the Anti-Mamba Revenge Squad HQ.
We think everyone is familiar with the infamous “Stephen A Smith eats Cheese Doodles during commercial breaks” hecklers from last year’s NBA Draft. It made the rounds on Deadspin and YouTube, and became quite the sensation. (Here’s a link if you’ve never seen it.)
Well, they were back this year, and it’s beyond classic. Realizing that simply heckling SAS again wouldn’t do, they go ahead and embody a whole new SAS, using no less than a dirty tube sock to do so. (Thanks, obviously, go to Deadspin for being the conduit through which things like this make it to the mainstream. As mainstream as the blogosphere is, anyway.)
Seriously, this is where journalism needs to go. Our favorite line: “Why hasn’t my praise changed your life, Brandon Wright?!?!”
That’s just genius.
UPDATE: It kinda dies during the second half on the second watch. It seems like the guys were getting tired. THAT SAID, it also looks like the broke the real Stephen A. Mark Jackson was trying to point out that they were screaming his name, and SAS looked kinda down and out about it. Not mad, but sad.
It’s quite odd, but this weekend, football is king for us.
Ohio State killed last night in front of a sidelined LeBron James, and the Browns are actually on TV today in LA, so we’re all revved up.
(Remember, Cleveland is due to start 1-0 for the sole purpose of teasing us into a state of optimism.)
That said, we’d be remiss to not mention the biggest thing going on in basketball. No, not the Hall of Fame inductions – we’re talking about the WNBA Championship.
In one of the most blood-tingling WNBA Finals, the Shock had one last rally in it — then one last stand — before it dethroned the Sacramento Monarchs, 80-75, in Game 5 Saturday before a thundering sold-out crowd of 19,671 to claim the franchise’s second title in four seasons.
“The first one you’re just excited, you’re happy,” [some lady named] Powell said. “This one’s more emotional because you never know when you’re going to get back in this situation.”
Emotional isn’t quite the word to describe the feeling of winning the WNBA title – at least not for the citizens of the winning city.
You see, we clearly remember that last year the Sacramento team won, and it subsequently brought great embarassment to our friend Tom over at SacTown Royalty. (Hey, at least this year Google will let you search for WNBA news – check the link if you’re lost.)
And Detroit? Well, you guys have got two in four years – you’re a damn dynasty in the making. Need4Sheed has checked in with a brief hello.
Detroit Bad Boys has yet to address this issue, but we’re sure they’re just busy setting up the redirect to the new site at detroitnaughtygirls.com.
‘Nique is finally getting inducted on the 8th here (along with Barkley, Dumars, and some people you don’t care about), and he’s taking the whole family along for the ceremony, as would be expected. Not so expected is the lack of airplanes involved.
This trip will be included in NBATV’s coverage of the Hall of Fame stuff, although we’re guessing they won’t give you the truth you see here. A shame, really.
