WHO SHOT MAMBA IPHONE

From the category archives:

Orange Roundie

The one team that was potentially in the most trouble with the whole switching of the balls (Orange Roundie – out. Leather Classic – in.) was the Boston Celtics.

They had games on both the 31st and the first, which meant they had 0 (zero) days to transition the hands via a Doc Rivers mega-intellectual practice session.

We found this funny, because really – what’s one extra day? Were all the Celtics going to carry around the leather ball for that precious 24 hours, thus turning their season around?

Anyway, the results of this non-practice crisis were fine for them, as they managed to defeat the Trailblazers last night in Portland. Head Coach Doc Rivers wasn’t phased, anyway.

“I just think it’s a little unfair that Portland practices with the other ball and they’ll probably have a shootaround (today) with the other ball, and we’re playing (last night),” Rivers said. “I just thought it would be a smart thing for the league to wait one day, but I guess they didn’t think it was that smart. It does give Portland an advantage (because) they get to work with it.”

“Yeah, I thought about it, for maybe five seconds,” he said. “Then I figured the hell with it.”

See, it’s business as usual for Doc – that’s exactly how he normally puts together his gameplan.

As for this ball business, one might expect, given our history with the lil’ guy, that we’d be all sad and distraught over the non-employment of the Orange Roundie.

Not so at all. We think the return to the leather is an excellent choice. Note:

* It doesn’t have an exciting name.
* It doesn’t have a personality.
* It doesn’t have a catchphrase.
* It’s leather, which means it’s made of cows.
* Doc Rivers is down with it.
* Kevin Garnett is even more down with it.
* Deadened, unglowy surface.
* We don’t have any other reasons.

Truth is, perhaps the Roundie was a little too ahead of his time. He’s made for an age where all the streets and buildings are made of metal, and children frolic in the artifically atmospheric domed streets, due to the post-apocalyptic nature of the future Earth.

What’s really important is that the Celtics won, and that’s only gonna happen a few more times in the next 4 months. Cherish these days this day – it’s truly the Age of the Boston Celtics.

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There comes a time in every roundie’s life when it must simply…select a path.

For our associate the Orange Roundie, that time is now. (As of this morning he’s out of a job.)

Orange Roundie

We honestly have no idea where he is – this is apparently a darker than normal time for the little guy. That said, there are reports that he may show his face sometime this week.

Things being what they are, if ever there was a time to introduce a new item in the store, it’s now, yes? Seriously – what’s a relaunch if you’re not trying to gouge your readership for their cash?

Choose your side…for a war is brewing.

You won’t know what that war is all about for awhile yet, but it’s never too early to start recruiting. (Three designs available! Logos, “Official Roundie Henchman”, etc, etc, etc!)

LoRH LOGO 400

Careful…potential merchandise buyer…caaaaaaaareful

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We appreciate all the emails asking that we return. We shall…as shall our small orange friend. You know him – the one who’s been given the boot by David Stern. Watch and…enjoy your holidays.

Thanks for your patience, as well as all of your emails/support regarding Scoopapalooza. We’ll wade through them soon and wrap up the whole thing upon our return.

NOTE: Most shocking development of the season: T-Mac is out indefinitely with back spasms!

NOTE 2: Thanks to Jason at LowPost.net for fixing the redirect that made it look like we didn’t even exist anymore to many of you. Excuse the in-flux design and/or screwy comment moderation stuff – we’re working on it.

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Looks like our plan worked – we didn’t watch the Cavaliers, and apparently they played with some actual energy and got the win over the Hawks last night.

(This isn’t entirely true – we flipped it on for a moment, watched Ira Newble (!) take two straight threes, assumed the worst, and went elsewhere.)

Anyway, the boycott is over, and we feel obliged to watch the game against the Rockets of Houston tonight.

By all accounts, LeBron was dominant last night, which he agrees with completely.

“When I’m in an attack mode, my team kind of vibes off that,” James said. “We came out with a focus to get a road win and we did.”

“The fourth quarter is when I need to put my cape on,” James said. “If I’m going to be a leader that’s when I’m going to have to be at my best.”

We’ve long called his attack mode “Angry LeBron”, which isn’t all that original or creative, nor by any rights do we have hold on it – any of you guys over at Page 2 are welcome to it.

Speaking of the fiasco of the last 36 hours, the following will be our final word on it in public, beyond the obligatory series of passive-aggressive jabs. With all of your help, we think our point was made sufficiently, and the last thing we want is to go from “the site who hated the tights” to “the site with the Scoop Jackson beef”.

If this isn’t fun, there’s no point to it. Alas:

1) We never, ever said we wanted Scoop Jackson fired or even disciplined. We like Scoop as a person. We just wanted “Orange Roundie” off the ESPN site. It’s now there less, so that’s something.

2) Scoop could’ve avoided all of this if he’d just contacted us himself instead of going through Deadspin. “Tell the guys over at YAY…”? Are we that hard to find?

Anyway – thanks again for all of your support. The person who overnighted the wedding cake went too far, but such is life.

NOTE: The server move is probably going to happen this weekend sometime, which is when everything gets UGLY for about three weeks design-wise. We may just operate out of two places – not sure how this is gonna go down yet.

NOTE 2: The Players Union is suing the NBA over the Roundie and technical fouls. Strangely enough, there’s no mention of this on NBA.com.

NOTE 3: None of this will stop us from getting that “League of Roundie Henchmen” stuff designed and up sometime in the future.

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Between all the Scoop Jackson stuff, Kobe putting up 52 last night, Eva Longoria gaining the ability to scream “Tony Parker is my finacee!!!”, and a few other things, we’ve barely had time to contemplate the true ramifications of our vow to boycott the Cavaliers tonight.

It’s closing in on gametime, and we’re truely not sure if we can go through with it.

The task is easy enough – we’re not at home and the Tivo hasn’t been set yet. There are also errands to run this afternoon – we could simply go about our duties and miss the whole thing.

That said, we could just as easily go home and turn it on.

Undecided – that’s the best way to describe us at the moment. As such, let’s rehash this morning’s goings-on one more time, simply for clarity’s sake:

1) We don’t hate Scoop Jackson. By all accounts, he’s a great guy and well liked. We think he made an error in judgement. We’d just like to see it corrected.

2) This has nothing to do with “getting linked by ESPN” (which we couldn’t care less about), so the people arguing that we’ve been given credit (since the YAY reference was inserted into the article) are missing the point.

3) We’re not trying to set ourself up as some defender of the right of all bloggers everywhere or something.

4) All we want is the character name pulled off that column. That’s it. The concept he can steal all he wants – although we don’t think that’s cool either, it happens every day. We own “Orange Roundie” though – we have plans for “Orange Roundie”. None of those plans involve anyone thinking it came from Scoop Jackson.

More troubling than all four of those bullet-points is this “should we or shouldn’t we” concerning the Cavs-Hawks game.

We’re 65% on “not gonna watch” right now, but we don’t want to start sending bad karma Cleveland’s way. What a strange day all around, but no stranger than two Thursdays from now, which we’ve already forseen as being “really weird”.

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(Pre-note: this post was written before the previous one, but we want this one on top for now.)

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Everyone knows what he did.

Hell, even he knows — perhaps dropping the phrase “Orange Roundie” right in the middle of it was his way of admitting it without admitting it. Who knows what goes on in the mind of someone like Scoop.

Frankly, if he’d left it out, nobody could really say anything — certainly two people on Earth could come up with the idea of the ball being sentient. By vaguely nodding to the source, he points out the whole deal, though.

He stole. He stole a concept, a schtick, a character.

He took it and presented it as his own.

It’s wrong, and people with integrity don’t do it. In any creative industry, it’s like the RULE. It’s the one thing you DON’T DO. He knows it, we know it, everyone else knows it.

(Side note here. We’ve never been huge fans of Scoop the writer — he knows his hoop, but his stuff is a little over-stylized and wordy for us, mainly due to our short attention span. Never did we think he was a bad guy, though. Never did we think he was a hack of this fashion.)

The worst part about this is that no matter how it shakes out, we end up looking bad. Just to be clear, we don’t want apologies, and we certainly don’t care about links or credit from ESPN.

What we want is a time machine, so that we can put the Roundie back in his box until it’s his time to come out. You’ll note the videos stopped — there’s a reason for that. We had a plan, and that plan is now compromised, lest the uninitiated think we draw our ideas from Scoop Jackson. All because he couldn’t come up with his own idea for a column.

Oh, and just to be clear with what this really is all about: we own the copyright on the name and character “Orange Roundie”. (We have no claim on the ball pattern, which is why we have our own being done.)

Do you hear and understand that, ESPN?

NOTE: Another point that’s really clawing at us is that Scoop completely misunderstood and bastardized the humor in “Orange Roundie” and the personality of same. You don’t throw that phrase out there without going back to the source and seeing it in context.

And you certainly don’t try to do a lame imitation of someone else’s character. This is like if someone wrote their own Spider-Man comic and gave him bird powers.

Since we’ve got stealing on the mind, allow us to steal from Seinfeld — this portion of the problem doesn’t offend us as the owner of “Orange Roundie”, it offends us as a comedy writer.

NOTE 2: It’s entirely possible Scoop innocently thought he was throwing the “cute lil’ blog person” a bone by doing this — he could pat us on the head like a small child, all like, “Here’s some candy! Do you like candy?” And we’d be all like, “Wow! Scoop Jackson reads the website! Ooooh!”

Hey Scoop — we’re a professional screenwriter, buddy. We get paid to write, too. You assume too much, especially if you think we’re “wowed” by celebrity of any kind.

NOTE 3: We welcome others to chime in as they please. Send us your links — we’re collecting them. Were not going to war with ESPN…yet. That said, we’ve had it with them — you like our style and material so much (and clearly you do), pay us to do it for you.

(For the newly arriving, click on that Orange Roundie category link up there to see the real history of the actual Orange Roundie.)

UPDATE: Scoop has responded via Deadspin:

“I actually thought I was giving them some love, even though ESPN edited out the part about them being the ball’s favorite site. Just trying to have some fun. Hope you enjoyed the piece; tell YAY I thought their overall ball coverage was brilliant. The ball, on the other hand, had a few issues.”

We appreciate the compliment, Scoop, and that’s exactly what we figured you’d say. “Aww, thanks lil’ blog guy. I’m gonna take your idea and run with it on my own in bog boy land.”

Look, we have the copyright on the “Orange Roundie”. This isn’t about “respect for blogs” or “wahh wahh recognize us”, it’s about a character that we own and commercial plans for, which you have taken and used without permission.

Again, you have every right to have the NBA ball speak in the first person (as questionable as that is to do), but you cannot call it the “Orange Roundie”.

We’re going to hold to our current opinion that this was done out of ignorance and not because you’re a bad person. We imagine we’d get along quite well with you, actually.

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Did they not understand the last post?

You have stolen an original character from us and used it for your own purposes.

There ain’t no room for fan-fiction in the Orange Roundie’s world, Scoop. You can write as the ball all you want, but you sure as hell can’t call it “Orange Roundie”. Call it “Red-Yellow Orbster” or something, okay?

Why are we fired up? You see, the Scoop Jackson column has been “fixed”. Instead of “a website” it’s “a website called yaysports.com”.

You’re making it worse, and we now have no choice but to organize. Big thanks to famed commenter “Wanna-Be Roundie Henchman”, who is now a wanna-be no more.

Welcome, friends…to The League of Roundie Henchmen.

(Official logo and merchandise to come.)

All you need to do is send Scoop an email via this link, then email us a copy of it at yaysports@gmail.com. If you’re a blogger, simply post your outrage and send us a link.

Our target: Scoop Jackson and ESPN.com.

Our mission: Exposure.

Our goal: The column pulled down off the site and some sort of retraction.

Our reasons: Theft of intellectual property with clear intent and complete disregard for the owner.

This is it, people. This is where the blogosphere rises up and says, “you’re a poo-poo head”. You can’t take our commerical ideas and hard work and pawn it off as your own. You cannot do it anymore. Like Vince Carter said back when he wasn’t disliked, IT’S OVAH.

JOIN NOW.

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Here’s one who’s definitely not interested in becoming an Official Henchman, and in fact thinks we’re just being racists:
D-Wil

This is much more fun than lawyers, yes? Also cheaper and likely more effective!

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The Bulls are coffee

by The Cavalier on November 20, 2006 · 16 comments

Only two games on the schedule last night, and the far more intriguing one was going on down there at the Staples Center.

We managed to catch quite a bit of the thing, and we have to say – there’s nothing quite like the thrillerella (new word) of an 82-72 uglynessfest. (another one!)

Oh yeah, the teams were the Bulls and the Lakers.

CHI continued the fine tradition of losing on its circus-inspired road trip (the circus is using their home court for two weeks), while the Lakers played some nice team ball.

Phil Jackson walked away from the showdown with his former team…unimpressed.

“I think most people around the league would say that there’s not another team in the league that plays with the same intensity,” Jackson said. “Sometimes there’s more froth than substance, kind of like a latte — there’s not much there. I didn’t mean to make that as an insult. They have trouble scoring, but they really will push you to the extreme.”

We don’t know the difference between latte and coffee, hense the title of the post. It all sounds pretty gay to us. The points on the “All-new Bulls” stands, however: CAFFEINE IS BAD FOR YOU.

Don’t let that sway you from taking a look at the Lakers as one of the better teams in the NBA, even though the caffeine thing has nothing to do with Kobe’s squad.

We’re sure Jones on the NBA can fill you in on the particulars with a helpful comment or two, but the summation is thus: Kobe is playing very nice basketball within a team concept. Lamar Odom led those guys last night.

It’s all quite odd and intriguing, and should rise to a feverish level tomorrow night – Lakers vs Clippers, right over there at the Staples Center.

Now, you may have read this a few times and are now asking yourself…does the Cavalier live “down there” or “over there” in relation to the Laker/Clipper home court? It’s a great mystery, is it not?

That’s what makes this life great, people. It’s not about impending Thanksgiving with the family, or Christmas shopping, or who beats who in any given NBA game.

It’s about where the author of this blog lives in relation to the arena of a major metropolis, and whether you can figure it out via some carefully chosen words written on said blog by said author. Zeus bless America.

NOTE: That other game was Sacramento/San Antonio, the latter of which won.

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The talk about the new roundie has died down quite a bit – mostly in favor of bitching about the refs.

More and more, the guys are just playing with the thing, realizing at last that it just isn’t that big of a deal. (Moreso, they’ve probably realized David Stern isn’t budging on this one.)

In fact, last night the lil’ guy actually got a little bit of backhanded praise.

Vince Carter hit an unlikely shot that sent the Nets/Wizard game to OT – an OT that New Jersey would dominate, thus winning the game.

Afterward, Vince and Jason Kidd gave thanks to the mighty glowing object of synthetic power.

Would the old [roundie] have gone in on Carter’s last-gasp tying shot?

“If it would’ve hit like that? Heck no,” he said. “No way.”

“It didn’t rattle. It just stuck,” Kidd said. “The old [roundie] maybe just hits the rim and bounces out. But you’re going to see a lot of those [roundies] maybe get stuck and roll in or get stuck and roll off. We were very fortunate that it stuck and rolled in.”

Even we’ll admit it looked a little odd, but in this case, “odd” worked. (At least for the Nets.)

Since we have nothing else to say about that, allow us to offer up this plea for help:

See that ad at the top of this column for the sportbook place? (Click on it while you’re taking the moment to check it out – send some traffic over to the sponsors, eh?)

We don’t see it. There’s some setting on our laptop that keeps up from seeing it. Similarly, we don’t see ads on the main page of MSN DOT COM or on myspace (DOT COM!!!!).

Anyone have any idea why this is? It’s not really a big deal, except that whatever it is also blocking us from seeing NBA League Pass on our computer. (We think it has something to do with Flash-based things? Dunno – that’s why we’re asking.)

It’s not a huge deal, except that if we could get that running, we could have a game on TV and one on the computer, thus bringing us one step closer to a seizure, something we’ve always been curious about.

Whoever can fix this gets a free Who Shot Mamba? shirt of their choice from the YAYsports! Store of Purchasable Goods.

Email or comments section is cool – thanks in advance.

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We were determined to accomplish a few things with this pre-Cavaliers home opener video. In no particular oder, we wanted this to be: a little funny, a little strange, a little inspiring, a little cool, a little gay, and a little tingle inducing.

Oh, there may also be a couple peeks at that “it” we swore we wouldn’t talk about until it was time. (It’s not time, but we needed filler.) Enjoy.

GO CAVS.

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